I remember my own grandma who hailed from China. She had bound feet also known as lotus feet but her feet were not as tiny as those of my other grandmothers. She said that when her feet were bound, it was so painful that she could not stop crying and her mother took pity on her and released the bandages binding them. However the damage was done and they were disfigured and swollen. Having bound feet was de rigeur for girls from families of some standing. It was considered a sign of beauty. Only maid servants did not have their feet bound as they had chores to carry out and they had to serve their masters and mistresses. My grandma's feet caused her much discomfort especially when she had to walk long distances. In the days of the nineteen fifties there were no taxis, only rickshaws or trishaws. Sometimes she used a trishaw after buying vegetables and other food from the wet market. The distance from the market to her home was too far for her to walk.
She was usually dressed in either grey or blue tops with black silk trousers. Her hair was combed into a bun behind her head. She was a housewife responsible for the cooking and washing and other chores, making the house a neat and tidy home for my grandfather and uncles. The only place that she went to, other than the market, was to the temple, to pray and ask for blessings for the family. Looking after grandchildren was also part of her responsibilities.
She looked after five of my siblings as we are a big family.
These days, grandmothers of my generation are a far cry from my grandma's. We are educated, we have brought up our children and discharged our duties as best we could and most of us do not live with our adult off-spring. We are very independent and mobile. We go wherever we want and whenever we want. It is not unusual to see grandmothers in line dancing classes, aerobics, yoga, even jogging in the parks. There are also grandmothers who run their own businesses and there are those who jet set all over the world. Some of us are very fashionably dressed and well accesorised. We do not wear our hair in buns on our napes but our crowning glory are often coloured and high-lighted. We take good care of our skin and our looks oftentimes belie our age.
Many of us however, do tend to drop whatever plans we have when our children send an SOS and we respond immediately. Most times it is to help them with their newborns and to babysit when they need some time off. This is perhaps the only thing we have in common with our sisters of yesteryears. Lending a helping hand when needed.
I remember when my daughter was expecting her first child in the UK. We went there with all the requisite herbs, etc so that when the baby arrived, we were on hand to look after her. Her dad boiled water with the herbs every morning and when the water had cooled to a suitable temperature, he would lug it upstairs to her bathroom so that she could have a nice warm scented herbal bath that would take the "wind" out of her system. He would also walk to the supermart to buy fresh range chicken so that I could double-boil it with herbs to make a nutritious soup for her. Yes, we looked after her during her confinement and helped with the new baby boy.
He was quite colickly and had difficulty sleeping and my late sister, who was just as excited as we were over the new arrival, the first of the new generation, flew to Cardiff where we were, with a "sarung stand", a Malaysian cradle so to speak, where a "sarung" ( piece of cloth with sides sewn together ) was suspended on a spring attached to the stand and the baby was put into the sarung and rocked rhythmically. The sarung held the baby snugly and he soon fell asleep. Should he wake, all we had to do was to gently pull the sarung in an up and down motion and he would drop off to sleep again.
Just as grandchildren brought joy to grandmas of yesteryears, so do they now bring joy to us, the new breed of grandmas. No sacrifice is too great for our grandchildren although one can hear an occasional grumble. Sometimes we hear of grandmas who throw up their hands in horror at the prospect of looking after the new babies and telling their offspring that enough is enough, they've looked after their kids and now that they are adults and parents themselves, it's only right that they should look after their offspring, although a helping hand will be there on occasion.
Whatever it is, we new generation grandmas have a lot to live for, a lot to thank for and we are ready to help when the need arises. Only do not expect us to be on call twenty four seven. We have earned the right to our own lives and R & R. Kudos to us all!!
