We Have Only One Life

We each have one life. In Greek myths, the three sisters Fate, Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos determine our destiny. Clotho is the spinner who spins the thread of life while Clotho apportions our lot in life and Atropos snips the thread to end our life.

So we are born into a family and continue to follow our destiny until it is time for our exit from this physical world.

No one knows when this time will be. I wonder about the pros and cons of knowing the exact moment of our demise. On the plus side, I guess when you know how much time you have on earth, you would plan accordingly and map out your journey, deciding how much you want to achieve before then. On the other hand, you might become a nervous wreck as the time approaches, wondering where and how you will make your exit.

If you do not know and this is the case with all of us, not knowing when we will become the late, we will continue to live life the way we do. Some of us have our life mapped out at least for the next twenty years; we know where we are going and how we are going to get there.

Others may just drift along like a piece of driftwood carried by the tides in the sea of life, accepting what life brings them.

All that said, it would be good to step back every now and then to evaluate what we have or have not accomplished in our journey, for life is a journey from birth to death. Taking stock will enable us to re align our path if we have veered off somewhere. Most important would be to take each day as if it were our last so that we can appreciate the here and now without taking things for granted. Appreciate our family and friends, show our love each day.

We never know what the day brings and some people never get to see the end of the day.

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The Ugly Homo Sapiens

Homo Sapiens is a species superior to all others with his ability to think and reason, his capacity for understanding and learning plus an intellect that distinguishes him from other mammals.

Yet there is an ugly side to man. Man is territorial, like other species. Crowd his space and watch what happens.

This is well illustrated along the highways. Have you ever witnessed the rage that takes over the rational mind when someone cuts into his right of way?There have been cases of aggravated assault leading to serious injuries.

The green-eyed monster that rears its head has instigated crimes of passion often ending in the death of one or even both parties.

What makes an apparently mild person turn into Mr Hyde? The seeds of violence are possibly inherent in man, bursting forth under provocation. Some of us tend to be more volatile than others.

Those who are less inclined to an outburst of temperament may be genetically primed to a calmer predisposition. On the other hand, some may have tremendous will power to keep their emotions at bay and thus practise restraint.

The bestial nature of man is never far from the surface and the media has of late reported cases of fathers raping their young daughters. Grandfathers have also been reported to unleash their lust on young relatives.

Abduction of young children especially girls who end up sexually abused and dead also make headlines. Mothers who abet their lustful partners in the sexual abuse of their daughters go against the order of nature.

Such people do not deserve to be regarded as human beings as they have no humanity in them when they can perpetrate such evil against their offspring.

Do other animals abuse their young?

Why is there such moral decadence? Is it because we have ignored spirituality? Are we overly focused on material pursuits? Where is the fear of God? Maybe it’s time to step back and evaluate the status quo.

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Out of Sight , In Sight, Out of Mind

I’m not sure if you are aware that our childhood experiences influence our adult lives and we often do what our parents once did. I remember we used to visit my grandparents every week and have lunch there especially when we were still very young. The bond we had with our grandparents was very strong and we loved spending them with them.

As parents ourselves, we too did the same thing, taking our children to visit their grandparents, though not every week.

Now that we are grandparents ourselves, our grandchildren come to visit, although these visits can be few and far in between because of geographical locations. My sister’s grandchildren visit her every weekend because they live in the same town. I’m more fortunate because my two grandchildren have been living with me since they were tiny tots.

These days, more often than not, it is the annual obligatory new year reunion that sees the extended family members coming together and the grandparents get to see their grandchildren.

Nowadays the young live and work far away from their parents. Their work commitments and busy lifestyles often leave them no time to bring their children to visit their grandparents. Weekends are spent catching up with house chores and family time which unfortunately does not include grandparents these days.

At most a couple of phone calls would nevertheless bring joy to the old couple. However, for some, there are no phone calls at all. Sadly it has become “out of sight, out of mind”. However, if the grandparents own a telephone, they would call their children to find out how they are, intimating that their children may be out of sight but certainly not out of mind.

On Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, it is a common sight to see families dining in restaurants with grandparents in tow. I hope this is not just the token “lip service” where one is doing it to be seen doing one’s “duty”, feting the old folks on these special days. Perhaps the over commercialization of these two Days have exerted a pressure on families to treat their elders to special dinners laid out by hotels and restaurants.

Have you noticed, though, that the old folks are not talked to but at ? Or that conversation rolls around them but hardly includes them? Now this would be “in sight” but not “in mind”.

It would be good if grandparents are not just acknowledged on “special days” but included as an integral part of young people’s lives rather than as a “back up” expected to respond immediately to the SOS when the maid runs away.

Something precious is lost when grandchildren do not have the opportunity to bond with their grandparents.

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Is the Marriage Institution Losing Ground?

There are many young people who refuse to tie the matrimonial knot these days. It’s not a matter of not wanting to commit but I gather that it is more of a state of disillusionment with the state of matrimony.

Some of the young people I’ve met are of the opinion that they do not need that piece of paper to validate their relationships. I suspect this could just be an excuse to make it less of a hassle should they decide to part ways. Once you have signed on the dotted line, it is not so easy to just walk away. The law does not allow it. However, if you have not signed before the registrar of marriages, then it is a simple matter of leaving the relationship after sorting out the joint properties that you have accumulated.

Others have indicated that their friends’ marriages hardly lasted two years before each went their separate ways. Thus they do not want this happen to them. They’d rather stay single.

Besides, being single makes you accountable to no one but yourself. You are at liberty to do whatever you wish. If you want to travel, all you have to do is to pack a bag, lock up your place and leave. There is no need to seek the consent of a partner nor to have to give reasons for wanting to travel at that particular time. You do not have to face the moods or tantrums of the other person should there be any disagreements.

However for those in a relationship, there is the commitment to each other and to them the marriage certificate is just a piece of paper they can do without. On the other hand should a baby come into the picture, they may have to legitimize their union for the sake of the unborn child so that he or she will not be stigmatized as a bastard without any legal rights.

Then again, babies mean commitment and a lifetime of having to raise them, providing them with the best education that they can afford. In most cases, it means having to sacrifice your own needs and wants for the baby.

This could be seen as having to slave throughout your life for the child until he is independent by which time you yourself will be old and still do not have the means to have a comfortable standard of living. Most of your savings would have been expended on your offspring. Whatever is left may not see you through your retirement and you would be in hardship at a time when you could be relaxing comfortably if you were single.

Is it any wonder then that many young people these days prefer to remain single, enjoy their earnings and lead a lifestyle of their choice? They can go in and out of relationships without a care but Heaven forbid if there is a little one on the way. Abandonment is more often than not, the case, leaving the poor girl literally holding the baby, all too frequently with dire consequences.

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