Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Death Comes Like a Thief in the Night


The signs are there.  My sister is dying before our eyes.  From a healthy, beautiful, young woman, she has shrunk into a wizened person, her bones showing beneath her thin skin.  All the muscles have been cannibalized by the cancer that has invaded her body.

Day by day she shrivels.  Her lovely features are now gaunt, her eyes sunken and dull with pain.  Her lovely hair is all gone.  It is a matter of time, we know and we wait. Yet when the moment comes and death takes her, and takes us by surprise, it is still a great shock.

Though we are happy that she is released from her prison of pain, we are saddened and pained by her departure. Below is my poem in memory of my sister.

               Death  Watch  

Your lids flutter open, then shut,
Beneath the lids, movements signal
You are aware, though disabled.
All around you, anxiously anticipating your needs,
Wanting to alleviate your discomfort.
Your lids flutter open, you gasp,
Trying to cough up the phlegm,
Thick clotted cream finally expelled, by no means all.
Helpless, we watch you sinking by the hour,
Shrouded in drug fog.
Our pain grows and thickens,
The pregnant silence sliced by your gasps for breath.
Tears well into rivulets running down our cheeks,
As each, torn, wanting you in our midst still,
Yet desiring your release,
Secretly battles with the whys and the why nots;
Needing to understand why,
When a sibling comes to this end.
The unnecessary suffering, the brutality of it all.
A tear slides down your hollow cheek, a final rattle of leave taking.
You are gone but remain cherished in our hearts.
The un-understanding remains;
A niggle still, or rationalized away, by the pastor or the priest.,
Meanwhile with bated breath we wait,

Will it be down the same road?

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Perceptions: what we see may not be what it seems


Very often what we think we see and understand may not be the case.

It depends on which perspective one is viewing.  All too often we tend to judge from our own perspective without stopping to think further.

Let me illustrate.  A mother is very ill, yet her son refuses to come and see her. To most people, the son would be regarded as an ingrate, a useless son who doesn’t care about his mother.

Apart from what people construe as apathy, a lack of filial piety, or simply a monstrous off spring, could the son have his own reasons for not wanting to visit his mother?

Could it be fear? Fear that his mother is dying and he dares not see her in that condition, frail and so different from the mother he used to know? Sometimes disease  takes a terrible toll on a person’s appearance.  It can be a shock to the system to see a person who used to be so vibrant, reduced to a shadow of her former self.  Perhaps he prefers to remember her as she once was, a healthy and vibrant  mother.

Could it be a denial of the fact that his mother is dying?  If he doesn’t see her, then there will not be confirmation that she is dying.

So it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love his mother.  He is wrestling with his own demons.  Thus can we judge him and mark him as a useless, ungrateful son?
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The Passing of A Great Statesman, Mr. Lee Kuan Yew


I watched the live telecast of the funeral of Mr LKY as he is better known in his country Singapore.  In the days preceding the funeral, his body lay in state in Parliament House where thousands of Singaporeans and non-Singaporeans came to pay their last respects, having queued for hours to do so.

On the day of the funeral, his coffin, draped with the Singapore flag, was placed in a tempered glass case on a gun carriage, drawn by a guard of honor from the royal marines and armed forces.  Rain poured down as the cortege made its way through the main roads of Singapore en route to the Cultural Center of the National University of Singapore. Thousands of people braved the torrential rain, with umbrellas, in raincoats or simply standing in the rain waiting for the cortege to pass by.  They waved the Singapore flags, threw flower petals along the road and chanted their late founder and first PM’s name. The cameras panned and some people were seen weeping.  The heavens were weeping together with the people. Such a massive outpouring of grief also had me in tears as I watched the t.v. screen.

There was a 21 gun salute and jets flew over head to honor him in this state funeral.

In the Cultural Center, after Mr. LKY’s coffin was brought in, the current Prime Minister, his son Mr. Lee Hsien Loong laid the first wreath on behalf of the family while the President of Singapore laid the second, on behalf of the country.  Ten eulogies followed, the first by his son the PM and the last by his youngest son Mr. Lee Hsien Yang.  Each eulogy touched on different aspects of the late Mr. Lee and how he had touched each of them in their lives. They were deeply moving tributes to the founder father of their country.

Among the foreign dignitaries who came to pay their respects, were Heads of State and his personal friends such as Henry Kissinger and Bill Clinton.  This alone attested to his stature on the world stage.

Indeed Singaporeans had a lot to be grateful to Mr, LKY for.  From a small city state which had been expelled from the Federation of Malaysia after less than two years of its joining, Mr Lee fought tooth and nail to bring progress to his country and to ensure its survival.  It was a country without any natural resources; it had only its people. He had been branded as ruthless and relentless in the pursuit of his dream of  a successful Singapore but I sincerely feel that he was very courageous and the ends in this case, do justify the means.  He had no other choice but to rule with an iron hand if he wanted to succeed in developing Singapore.

In his own words he said that his achievement in his life is Singapore and that he gave his whole life to it. Anyone visiting Singapore today cannot help but admire its greenery and its high rises, commercial bulldings and high rise public housing and private apartment buildings. Its efficiency and vibrant economy continue to draw people.

Indeed, when I was a child, I used to accompany my mother to Singapore and my lasting impression was that it was a smelly and dirty place.  The Rochor Canal was very stinky and the Singapore River was very dirty.  However today, the city is a beautiful, clean and safe.  I feel safe whenever I’m in Singapore and I dare to walk  and take public transport.  In the Malaysian capital of Kuala Lumpur, I never feel safe and I would never take public transport if it meant that I would have to walk to the station or bus stop.  My sister was twice a victim of snatch theft. Fortunately she wasn’t badly hurt. Others have died as a result.

It is all thanks to this great man and his team that Singapore is what it is today, a beautiful, bustling garden city state, a premier  financial center and a place which everyone knows.   Singapore today is a testimony to Mr. LKY’s life work. Rest in peace, Mr. LKY, your life’s work is done, admirably done.
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Saturday, March 21, 2015

In Memory of a Dear Old Friend

Early this week my sister rang to inform me that she saw on Face Book a post that my dear old friend had passed away.

It came as a shock for we had planned to meet up in May after a lapse of more than 20 years.  He lived in Penang while I’m in Sabah across the South China Sea.

I first got to know him when I was in form 2 in Kuala Lumpur.  He used to board with our family for dinner as he was from outstation.  He became part of our family and would help out in all our chores, from scrubbing floors to washing down the walls of our little wooden house.

He used to teach me mathematics, my weakest subject.  He was the one who introduced me to football. I remember we walked from Imbi Road to the Merdeka Stadium to watch  football matches in the evenings. He was the older brother I never had.

He was working in the University of Malaya library as a librarian and it was he who phoned me to tell me of my final year results. I can never forget this incident.

 “You’re kidding!! I don’t believe you!”
“Serious! I won’t play the fool about this kind of thing. Come and see for yourself.” 

I believed I had done very badly as my mind was a complete blank when I sat for one of my papers in English Literature. When I looked at the results pinned up on the notice board, he was vindicated and I was elated. A second class upper is not something to scoff at when your major is English.

He was later transferred to the University Science Malaya in Penang as the Librarian in charge and he made his home there. He had three children, two sons and a daughter.  The daughter is domiciled in the USA while his eldest son is an architect based in Penang.  His middle child passed away from medical complications.

My family and I stayed in his house when we visited Penang a long, long time ago.  When he came to Sabah, he stayed in our house and I drove him up to Mt Kinabalu on a drizzly day.

A kind, gentle and caring soul has left us.  He was a gentleman in every sense of the word.  Never did a harsh word come out of his mouth.  The pictures his son posted on Facebook showed the countries both of them travelled to and Bali was their last holiday destination, before he departed so suddenly, just days after.  They were very happy pictures of father and son together with friends.

Rest in peace, Lim Chee Hong.  So sad that you left before May.  Had been looking forward to meeting up. Thank you for the happy memories that will be cherished always.

 
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