random thoughts: Out of Sight , In Sight, Out of Mind

I’m not sure if you are aware that our childhood experiences influence our adult lives and we often do what our parents once did. I remember we used to visit my grandparents every week and have lunch there especially when we were still very young. The bond we had with our grandparents was very strong and we loved spending them with them.

As parents ourselves, we too did the same thing, taking our children to visit their grandparents, though not every week.

Now that we are grandparents ourselves, our grandchildren come to visit, although these visits can be few and far in between because of geographical locations. My sister’s grandchildren visit her every weekend because they live in the same town. I’m more fortunate because my two grandchildren have been living with me since they were tiny tots.

These days, more often than not, it is the annual obligatory new year reunion that sees the extended family members coming together and the grandparents get to see their grandchildren.

Nowadays the young live and work far away from their parents. Their work commitments and busy lifestyles often leave them no time to bring their children to visit their grandparents. Weekends are spent catching up with house chores and family time which unfortunately does not include grandparents these days.

At most a couple of phone calls would nevertheless bring joy to the old couple. However, for some, there are no phone calls at all. Sadly it has become “out of sight, out of mind”. However, if the grandparents own a telephone, they would call their children to find out how they are, intimating that their children may be out of sight but certainly not out of mind.

On Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, it is a common sight to see families dining in restaurants with grandparents in tow. I hope this is not just the token “lip service” where one is doing it to be seen doing one’s “duty”, feting the old folks on these special days. Perhaps the over commercialization of these two Days have exerted a pressure on families to treat their elders to special dinners laid out by hotels and restaurants.

Have you noticed, though, that the old folks are not talked to but at ? Or that conversation rolls around them but hardly includes them? Now this would be “in sight” but not “in mind”.

It would be good if grandparents are not just acknowledged on “special days” but included as an integral part of young people’s lives rather than as a “back up” expected to respond immediately to the SOS when the maid runs away.