Will Our Traditions Survive?

Will our traditions survive, given that many young people have moved away from home, often to settle in other lands?

The Chinese New Year has been celebrated through generations and each generation has handed down traditions that are practiced before and during each New Year.

Traditionally the Lunar New Year begins with the celebration of the Winter Solstice where colorful glutinous rice balls are eaten. This event marks the beginning of the Lunar year and a person is deemed a year older after this day. You may have celebrated your 30th birthday a week ago but according to the Chinese, you are already 31. Many folks do not mark this day anymore as they deem it too much of a hassle, making these rice balls and cooking them in gingery syrup.

Another practice is the spring cleaning, where the house is meticulously cleaned, in the belief that the old and bad are cleaned out of the house and the spruced-up home is ready to welcome in the auspicious new year which hopefully will bring along with it better fortune and prosperity.

The eve of the Lunar New Year is the most important for the Reunion Dinner is held on this day. Family members from far and wide, head home to partake of the dinner. Sons bring home their wives and children to celebrate with their parents. Married daughters will have to celebrate with their husbands’ families. These days, people tend to have their reunion dinners in restaurants as it is more convenient and chefs can cook up delicious treats which housewives will find impossible to create. However if they adjourn their separate ways right after dinner, the opportunity for bonding among relatives is lost.

Although this reunion dinner is mandatory, there is the growing trend of going away for the New Year period instead of celebrating with loved ones and siblings at home. The nuclear family unit celebrates by itself rather than with the extended family. I feel that this is not a good development as family relationships will become the casualty.

An important tradition that is still practiced by most is the taboo that is associated with the New Year. One must not sweep the house on the First Day of the Chinese New Year as it means sweeping away all your luck for the year. Children are warned not to cry or fight and adults know not to utter vulgarities.

Giving of red packets to children and the singles by those who are married is part of the celebrations. Receiving these ang pows ( red packets) are much looked forward to by the children.

However, when families go away on holiday, the giving of ang pows is limited. Some people go away because they do not want to have open houses where relatives and friends will come to visit and they are expected to provide refreshments for their guests as well as ang paos for the children. This can come up to a substantial amount and it is also considered a hassle as there will be cleaning to do after the guests have departed.

Those who have migrated to other countries will not have the Chinese New Year as a holiday so more likely than not, it will simply pass as another day of work at the office.

Traditions will not be followed and it will be a matter of time before they are forgotten and their children will have lost a great part of the culture they sprang from. To me, it is a great loss for traditions are an integral part of our culture.

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Letting Go of Our Young

You watched your baby girl grow and develop into adulthood, completing her tertiary education and now a member of the work force. She goes dating and you wait up anxiously, not sleeping until you hear the click of the door and know that she's safely home. Soon her beau asks you for her hand in marriage and you give them your blessings, happy for her that she has found the man she wants to share her life with.

However you have already done your homework and know that your future son-in-law is capable of looking after your darling girl and will love her till the end of their days. On that score your mind rests easy.

So on the most important day of your daughter's life, you walk her down the aisle and hand her over to her groom who's waiting there anxiously. After the marriage is solemnised, you stand watching the happy couple walk away as man and wife, your emotions in tumult.

Have you ever watched the expression on the face of the father of the bride? Have you seen the feelings he thinks no one is aware of? Nostalgia, poignancy, a feeling of loss? My brother stood alone, looking lost and bereft as he watched his daughter, now a wife, walking out of the church on her husband's arm.

Fathers are much closer to their daughters and letting go is a hard feeling. All her life she's been there with you at home and now she will only come home on festival days or on special occasions. It's not quite the same, is it?

What about mothers? How do they feel, letting go of their daughters? I think I can generalise that mothers feel differently from fathers. So long as they are assured that their daughters are in good hands and they will have good loving husbands, they will be happy.

After all letting go is part of life's cycles. Young once, we are now the older generation and our young are coming into their own, starting their lives together and building their families. This cycle has been ever since time immemorial and it will continue ad infinitum. So now we can look forward to the next stage of our lives, grandparenthood! Here's to Life!

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