Your Word Your Honor?

Is your word your honor or is this outdated? I know in the old days, business was conducted based on the vendor and buyer’s word. Their word and a handshake sealed a transaction. There was no need for a written contract.

These days, there are scams everywhere and one would be most foolish to do deals without any black and white terms and conditions.

On the personal side, do you stick by your word? Do you honor a promise made? Or do you subscribe to “Promises are made to be broken”? When you say that you will meet up, say for a round of golf, early in the morning, do you show up way before the appointed time or do you leave your friend to wait and wait until she realizes that you’re a no show?

I was once in such a situation but fortunately another friend happened to come by so I did have my round although I had been left in the lurch earlier. It was embarrassing to have to say that your partner didn’t show up but that reflected badly on her. It was a gross breach of etiquette. Needless to say, I never made another appointment with her.

With children, your word, once given, must be kept at all costs or they will never trust you again. Just because they are children, it doesn’t mean that they can be put off and disappointed.

If you’ve never been let down you will not understand the disappointment nor the bad feeling that you’ve been stood up. Children are very sensitive souls and more easily hurt than an adult who can just push the hurt to one side and forget about it. They can be damaged if let down once too often.

Tweet

What’s In a Name?

Plenty I would say. Your name is your most precious possession. It is your identity. People know you by your name.

Christian or western names have become very popular among Asians. One reason is it is easier to remember. A Chinese name has three words to it while a western name only one. Take mine for instance, Lim Seong Ngor, Lim being my family name while Seong Ngor is the name given to me by my grandaunt. My mother, being western educated, gave me a western name, Peggy. Most of my friends call me Peggy instead of Seong Ngor as it is easier to remember.

Chinese names are unique in that female siblings will have one part of their names in common, i.e. my sisters all have Seong as part of their names too. So there is Seong Phin, Seong Tin and so on. The male siblings too have one part of their names in common. In my family that part is Hun, so my brothers are Hun Yeong, Hun Soon, Hun Chye. This indicates that we are siblings and belong to the same family.

Male babies are very much cherished as they perpetuate the family line. Girls are married out when they grow up and will become part of their spouses’ families. For the men who do not have sons, their family lines will die with them. That is one reason why Chinese men want at least a son. In the past, if his wife does not bear him a son, he will take another wife to get that all important son. However, things have changed considerably and there are men these days who are no longer concerned with this issue. Many men have three daughters and are happy with that.

However there are still some who will persist in having a son and so long as they have the money, getting a son is no problem these days. There are what is known as designer babies. You can choose the sex of your babies. This is now a very lucrative niche market.

All Chinese names have meanings just as Western names do. However western names are commonly shared by many, that is, hundreds of people are called Peter or John or Aaron. Chinese names however, are unique. It is very rare to find someone who has the same name as you especially when it is written in Chinese characters. Your name is unique to you and singular.

A lot of thought goes into choosing a name for a newborn as it will have a bearing on his personality and his future. Even the number of strokes in the characters is very important. This much I know as I’m not Chinese educated and I only know how to write my name because my father taught me and he said that knowing how to write one’s name is very important.

I have a beautiful name and the Chinese characters indicate that I was named after the Lady in the Moon. Unfortunately I was told that I’m not worthy of the name in that it is too lofty for a mere mortal like me. As a result, my health suffers and I’ve been dogged by illnesses ever since childhood. I was advised to change my name but I didn’t do so, out of respect for my grandaunt who had given me that name and I do like my name despite the drawbacks. However, most folks know me as Peggy anyway.

A child will have to live with his/her name all his/her life so parents must choose the name wisely so that the child can be comfortable with his/her name. It should not be one that makes him or her cringe with embarrassment or make him or her the butt of jokes. Some parents can be very insensitive or plain ignorant of the consequences of an ill-chosen name.

Tweet