Flying Through Turbulent Skies

The end of the year is usually vacation time for many folks who take to the skies for holidays abroad.  There are so many airlines, budget and regular, that travelers are spoilt for choice but of course to stretch the dollar further many would opt for budget airlines and use the extra savings on their holiday.

The news that an aircraft had crashed most likely due to severe bad weather conditions and the delayed approval of a request to ascend to higher altitude in order to avoid the turbulent storms is most distressing.  It is a known fact that air corridors are now congested with planes flying at different altitudes.  There is also the possibility that inadequate equipment at air traffic control centers to handle the demands of high traffic in the air may lead to unforeseen circumstances which could result in accidents.

It doesn’t help that the flights taken towards the end of the year can be very turbulent.  My last experience was quite frightening in view of the very recent air crash which has been confirmed to be due to the bad weather conditions.  Passing through the thick clouds caused the plane to shake and shudder and I could feel my internal organs moving in tandem. I didn’t feel queasy as such but I kept my eyes closed and thought of my belief in God from whom I had asked for journey blessings when I boarded the plane. This kept me cool and calm.

When the flight steadied enough I went back to my crossword puzzles.

The turbulence was off and on throughout the flight but praise the Lord, the captain brought us safely to our destination and we all walked off the plane with thanks in our hearts.

Not only have we come through a turbulent flight but also a year that has seen many calamities and disasters.  It is time to say farewell to this year and to welcome the New Year which is just a few hours away.

 

Tweet

How Prepared Are You?

This question is far from the minds of young people though it possibly hovers at the back of the older generation’s minds.

Prepared for what?  For the inevitable of course.  Our time on earth is limited; we are creatures in transit.  Are we prepared for our final destination?  Or are we still thinking that we have lots of time and during the interim, we still continue with what we strive to do, pursuing our dreams.  However, no one knows how much time has been given to him or her. Like it or not we will go.  Here I would like to share my poem with my readers.

       No R.S.V.P.

Young or old, rich or poor
One day, sooner or later,
All will R.I.P.
Pushing up daisies or sealed in
Niches, arranged in concrete rows
In the Garden of Remembrance.
Whatever we can, do it out of kindness;
Wherever we can, help to make
Today a good day for someone.
The invitation without any R.S.V.P.
Comes out of the blue,
Often taking the invitees by surprise;
But all respond without fail,
For choice there is none.

© SeongNgor Lim

The most important thing is of course to leave behind a will disposing of our assets the way we wish.  This will pre-empt any ugly squabbles over the distribution of assets should we die intestate.

The other important thing is to make sure that we will leave behind happy memories for those we love. Spending time with our children and grandchildren, whether in activities, or simple chatter, or whatever we like to do with our family, bonding with them so that when we are no longer with them, they can look back and remember the times we had together.  We can leave behind memories for them to cherish.  Photographs are great for trips down memory lane.

We want our loved ones to remember us with love, not resentment, or worse still, to have them prefer to forget us.  So whatever we do now, we must make sure we spend time with our loved ones and also to provide for them so that they will not be left helpless and destitute when there is no will and no funds for their immediate living expenses.  Whatever we bank accounts we have will be immediately frozen upon our demise. 

So are you prepared?

Tweet

Friends

Friends are people we mix around with and I daresay that we have many types of friends whom we could put into various circles.  E.g. work friends, family friends, close friends, casual friends and bosom pals.

Work friends are those whom we meet daily at work and over time have become friends. Casual friends are more of acquaintances whom we meet from time to time and engage in small talk with.  Family friends are friends of the family.  They could be your parents’ friends or friends who have become close to your family and are highly regarded.

Close friends are those with whom you have a very good relationship and you trust and support one another.  Close friends are often friends who go back a long way, e.g. since school days. They may not be many and often can be counted on one hand only. If you’re very lucky, then two hands. As Shakespeare said of good friends in his play "Hamlet", we should should grapple them to our souls with hooks of steel.

Bosom friends are very close friends whom you share confidences with and whom you know will never disclose your secrets.  They are the tried and tested pals who also go back a long way although not necessarily so. The main thing is that you trust your bosom pal and you would stick by each other through thick and thin. Usually your bosom friend is only one or at most two.

Your bosom friend can also be your sibling.

As we grow older we realize how important our friends are, especially close friends. They make the difference to an otherwise lonely existence.  However, know that friendships are like flowers in a garden which need to be nurtured in order to grow.

May your friendships be a lovely garden full of flowers.

Tweet

Words of Power

The other day I received an email that contained a list of ten words that were described as “powerful” and the advice that came along with it.  I would like to share them with you.

Each word contains letters in ascending order, the first with only one and the last with ten.  Out of the ten words, six are considered to be of value to us while the rest are best avoided.

 We are aware that words have the power to either build or destroy.  Words once uttered cannot be taken back and hurtful words damage and destroy.  No amount of apologies will ever repair the damage.

On the other hand, encouraging words that build can make a difference to someone’s life.

The first word is “I” and the email indicated that this word is the most selfish and should be avoided.  It rings true as how many people like to listen to someone whose sentences always begin with “I” ?

The second word, “we” is considered most satisfying as it connotes many things, not least the idea of togetherness, being a team, etc. 

The third word is “ego”, which is considered to be “poisonous”.  We are a advised to overcome it.  Ego has led one too many to one’s downfall. 

The fourth is “love” which Is considered to be most used and should be valued.  This needs no elaboration for love works wonders.

The fifth is “smile” which is said to be most pleasing and we should keep it.  Smiles are very becoming and often lead to friendships.  Smiles light up a person’s face and make a great difference.

The sixth word is “rumour” , said to be the fastest spreading 6 letter word and we are told to ignore it.  How many times has a rumour spread so swiftly that it has caused harm even though it is later proven to be unfounded?

The seventh word is “Success”, the hardest working seven letter word.  We are advised to achieve it.  Success is only achieved by dint of hard work and there is no short cut to it.

The eighth word is “jealousy”, and we are told to distance ourselves from it.  It is also referred to as the green-eyed monster that consumes one’s well-being and many a relationship is destroyed by this monster.

The ninth word is “Knowledge”, the most powerful 9-letter word and we should acquire it.  No one can take the knowledge you have acquired, away from you and it is well-known that “Knowledge is Power”.

The tenth word si “friendship”, the most valued 10-letter word.  We are told to maintain it.  Friends, especially your close friends stand by you and support you in times of need.  They are an invaluable network so maintain friendships and nurture them.

So what is your view?  Do you agree that these are the most powerful words and would you accept the advice that came along with them?

Tweet

The Ugly Homo Sapiens

Homo Sapiens is a species superior to all others with his ability to think and reason, his capacity for understanding and learning plus an intellect that distinguishes him from other mammals.

Yet there is an ugly side to man. Man is territorial, like other species. Crowd his space and watch what happens. This is well illustrated along the highways. Have you ever witnessed the rage that takes over the rational mind when someone cuts into his right of way? There have been cases of aggravated assault leading to serious injuries.

The green-eyed monster that rears its head has instigated crimes of passion often  ending in the death of one or even both parties.

What makes an apparently mild person turn into Mr Hyde?  The seeds of violence are possibly inherent in man, bursting forth under provocation. Some of us tend to be more volatile than others.

Those who are less inclined to an outburst of temperament may be genetically primed to a calmer predisposition. On the other hand, some may have tremendous will power to keep their emotions at bay and thus practise restraint.

The bestial nature of man is never far from the surface and the media has of late reported cases of  fathers raping their young daughters.  Grandfathers have also been reported to unleash their lust on  young relatives.   Abduction of young children especially girls who end up sexually abused and dead also make headlines. Mothers who abet their lustful partners in the sexual abuse of their daughters go against the order of nature. Such people do not deserve to be regarded as human beings as they have no humanity in them when they can perpetrate such evil against their offspring.

Do other animals abuse their young?   
Why is there such moral decadence? 

Is it because we have ignored spirituality? Are we overly focused on material pursuits? Where is the fear of God?  Maybe it’s time to step back and evaluate the status quo.

Tweet

Little Things In Life Make a Difference

“Little stones make big mountains,
Little steps can cover miles,
Little acts of loving-kindness,
Give the world its biggest smiles,
Little words can soothe big troubles,
Little hugs can dry big tears,
Little candles light the darkness,
Little memories last for years,
Little dreams can lead to greatness,
Little victories to success,
It’s the little things in life,
That brings the greatest happiness .”

I don't know where this came from but I thought it is too valuable not to share

Tweet

Carrots, Eggs & Coffee

It's been a long while since I last posted here. Someone sent me an email which I would like to share here as it is very relevant to all of us.


A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

 A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.          

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked,

'What does it mean, mother?'

  Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. However, each reacted differently.

  The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

 The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they  had changed the water.
 
'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavour. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?  

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. 

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Tweet

Old Is Gold

I'd like to share some words which a friend forwarded and I subscribe to the view that Old is Gold.

We are getting older by the day and the friends that we have, friends from way back, as far back as our high school days, are truly gold.

So when opportunities present themselves, get together with old classmates, even old colleagues and especially old friends. Such gatherings aren't just about eating and drinking and having oodles of fun.

It's just that there isn't much time left for such events. Each year, we can see obituaries in the newspapers and our numbers can only dwindle.

So savor our old friends, old classmates and old colleagues as much we can.

Tweet

Technology Addiction

More and more gadgets with improved apps and services are on the market with each passing day.  It is impossible to keep up with the technological advances.

Once it was that the smaller your hand phone, the better but now the smart phones are slightly bigger, slimmer and very versatile. They can do things which I could never have imagined years ago.  Just as my grandmother marveled at the voice coming through the hand-held receiver was her granddaughter’s, I now wonder at the fact that my hand phone can lead me to a place I’m looking for once I key in the address.

Many young people are so addicted to their gadgets that they obsess over it.  If by chance they left behind their smart phone, it’s like having lost a limb! Have you seen a group of young people at a table all busy with their phones, oblivious to their pals?  It’s now all about online communication, using social media and other apps.

Another trend is the selfie. I used to wonder what a selfie was but now I’m also taking selfies!!  It’s taking a picture of yourself on your hand phone and you can post it on Facebook to share with family and friends. You no longer have to ask someone to take your picture.

Unfortunately there has been a case where a young man was so obsessed with taking a perfect selfie of himself that when he couldn’t, he attempted suicide.  Fortunately his mother discovered him in time and the doctors saved his life. This is actually a mental health issue and it is defined as Body Dysmorphic Disorder which arises from the anxiety that causes sufferers to worry excessively about their appearance.

On the other hand, something good has come out of taking selfies.  The “no makeup selfie” was started to raise funds for cancer research and many women posted selfies of themselves without any makeup on Facebook and made a donation. Within 48 hours, this selfie posting charity campaign raised more than 500,000 pounds in Ireland while in the UK it raised more than 2.5 million pounds.  All in all more than $3.3 million was raised to fund cancer research.

I think one has to be sensible when it comes to the use of technology.  It can help us to do many things but misuse can lead to undesirable consequences that are often unexpected.

Tweet

ONS Trending

It was quite an eye-opener to read that there is now a trend known as ONS among the younger group of people. It is one thing to follow trends in the fashion industry where annual spring and winter collections appear on runways promoting designers’ couture offerings but quite another to participate in ONS.

The majority of people who are conservative in their outlook may be aghast at what is now trending among the younger age groups who may consider themselves to be avante garde, hence their fervor in pursuit of a new lifestyle, the ONS.

Some may even compare the number of ONS in their report cards. How do they get on the ONS circuit?

Apparently there are websites where you post your profile and you browse through profiles that have been posted.  You select a partner at random or if you like someone’s profile. Then arrangements are made for the ONS.

What is ONS?   It refers to one night stands where two people meet up to satisfy their sexual needs and there are no strings attached. Simply put, it’s hello, wham, bang and goodbye! 

How does that appeal to you?

Tweet

Children and the Chinese New Year

Children are the ones that make Chinese New Year  enjoyable and festive.

As children we used to look forward to it as it meant having new clothes, new shoes and receiving ang pows ( red envelopes that contain money).

We knew that at the reunion dinner we would get to eat food that are considered delicacies, obtainable only during the festive season. Usually grandma and the aunties would gather to cook the various dishes.

Offerings and prayers were made to our deceased ancestors so that we could look forward to a better year both in health and prosperity.

After dinner, the elders would play cards or chit chat while children would play fireworks outside in the compound. We were told that the longer we stayed up at night to welcome in the New Year, the longer our parents would live.

On New Year’s Day, the children would dress in their new clothes and line up before the elders to wish them “Gong Xi Fa Cai”, good health and longetivity and they would be given their ang pows.
Visiting relatives also meant feasting on cookies and getting more ang pows.  Children and singletons receive ang pows as is the tradition.  Only married people can give ang pows. Adult children also give their parents ang pows out of love.

Children enjoy this day as parents will never utter a harsh word or scold them as this is also a tradition.  So many get away with doing all kinds of naughty things since they will not be chided or chastised.

Without children, the festive cheer is missing.  There will not be any rollicking, laughing or playing together, having fun,  antics which adults like to watch.

Unfortunately, these days, the children are more engrossed in their individual iPads rather than playing other kinds of games.  Nevertheless, their presence still makes a difference to the day.

Traditions are slowly disappearing.  Reunion dinners have moved out of homes into restaurants or done away with as many families opt to go on holiday instead of celebrating at home.  Few have open houses as this entails a lot of work even though the food may be catered.

I hope the celebration of the Chinese New Year will continue for generations to come as traditions are part of our cultural identity and they make us unique as a community.

Tweet

Unwanted and Discarded

The first month of 2014 is more than halfway through and with it comes a terrible fact.
One recurring topic in the news is abandonment.  It is now a sad fact that both the very old and infirm and the very young new-borns are being cast away, left to the tender mercies of Fate.

Five aged and sick elderly folks were abandoned in a house filled with rubbish.  It had once been a shelter for old folks who had been left there by their families.  However the owner of the shelter had moved and left these five unfortunate people behind, one of whom is bed-ridden.  When neighbours, yes, there were neighbours on either side of this house, finally went in to check on the noises they heard coming from what they thought was an empty house, they discovered these five elderly folks, one of whom was lying in a heap of rubbish.

They were sent to the hospital where they had their first square meal and given a check-up. To date, none of their family members have stepped forward to claim them although their photographs have been published in the national newspapers.

On the other hand, the more helpless victims were the newborns who could only make their presence known by crying.  Usually abandoned by their mothers in the dead of night, they are truly at the mercy of predators and are usually ant-bitten by the time someone discovers them, provided they are still alive.  Today’s news reported that a teenager was awakened at 3:00 a.m. by a baby’s cries and looking out of her window, saw a little naked baby crying on the ground.  She also heard footsteps walking away.  Thankfully the teenager’s mother, on being informed, took the baby boy in, cleaned him up ( his umbilical cord was still attached and there were blood stains; he had also been bitten by ants ), dressed him and made a police report.  The baby is now in hospital, under observation.

What has made these people abandon their old folks and newborns?  How can they be so heartless and cruel?

The old folks once cared for their children, raised them from babies till they were independent, only to be discarded once their shelf life is nearing expiry date. Some have speculated that they could have been abandoned because they had not been good parents, or their families could not afford the cost of their medical bills and their upkeep.

What about newborns?  Do they deserve to be discarded like rubbish?  They didn’t ask to be born.

It would seem that parenting is partly to blame.  Parents have not instilled good core values in their young or have not been good role models.  Isn’t it about time that something be done to arrest this sad state of affairs?  Are old folks and newborns to be throwaways simply because we do not have a place in our lives for them?

Tweet