Make Yourself Happy!

In the winter of life, many things occupy my mind.  My friend said we have to make ourselves happy and not to depend on others to make us happy, not even our partners.

There is truth in what she said. So, how does one make oneself happy?  It would depend on the person, I guess. Sometimes it takes very little to make one happy.

When I see my young grandson smiling, when I hear the sound of his voice, I feel very happy. This is quite different from making myself happy.

So, how can I make myself happy? How do you make yourself happy?

What is happiness? I shall venture to say that it is a state of mind. When you feel contented and light-hearted, when you find yourself smiling at the world, I guess this comes close to what I would consider a state of happiness.

I find that creating something makes me happy, growing something also makes me happy. I used to create dolls, a skill I picked up from a Japanese friend. When I see a finished doll, complete with eyes, nose and a pink mouth, long hair and dressed either in a long dress or a short dress, I feel very happy.

The sense of achievement is what makes me happy.  The doll was non-existent, just scraps of cloth, fibrefill, wool, felt and a sewing machine. The doll was fashioned from these materials, given a face and viola! She exists! Happiness then, was seeing a number of dolls, each with a different expression and dressed in pretty clothes, lovingly sewn.

Now I don’t create dolls anymore. All my dolls have been given away to children. I wonder how they are faring. Loved or thrown about carelessly? It does not bear speculating.

Now I write short stories and poems. These creations make me happy when completed but the bringing forth of these, is an enjoyable and happy process. It’s easy to lose oneself in it and forget the world around you.

For everyone, happiness is different. What makes me happy does not necessarily make another person happy. What makes her happy may not make me happy!

During this season of winter, it becomes more important to make one’s happiness. The loss of friends, partners, etc, has become very real and close. The winter may be long or short, who knows? So as my friend says, we must make our own happiness. No wallowing in negatives.

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Man’s Best Friend is Missing!

The Chinese zodiac is a cycle that repeats every twelve years.

It begins with the sign of the Rat, followed by the Ox, the Tiger, the Rabbit, the Dragon, the Snake, the Horse, the Goat, the Monkey, the Rooster and the Dog.

The Rooster is bowing out in four days’ time and the Dog will enter centre stage, bringing in the Year of the Dog.

Each year, the shopping malls are beautifully decorated, in bright auspicious colours, pinks, reds and gold. There will be thousands of flowers and red lanterns and taking the place of honour will be the zodiac sign of the in-coming year.

2015 was the Year of the Goat and the Goat was prominently displayed.

Two years ago, to herald the advent of the Year of the Monkey, an upmarket shopping mall had a huge monkey taking pride of place.

The following year saw the Rooster making its grand entrance and no mall was without the Rooster placed prominently, announcing that the in-coming year was the Rooster Year. 

Red packets for ang pau (an ang pau is a gift of money placed in red envelopes displaying the current zodiac sign) featured the Rooster.

However, this year, in all the malls, despite their lovely deco, the star was missing! No one could see man’s best friend anywhere! One could get confused over the grand decorations. What was it all for? What’s being celebrated?

Okay, there could be signs wishing all a Happy New Year but what Year is it? How can one tell? There’s no indication! Such a mystery, isn’t it?  What happened to the friendly, faithful and loving animal that will lay down its life for its master?

Why isn’t it being honoured although this coming year is its Year?

Having the icon of the year in place is a traditional practice. It is part of the Chinese culture. The 12 zodiac signs representing each year of the Lunar Cycle have been there since time immemorial and each year the current animal presiding over the year is honoured.

This year the Dog has not been honoured and it is a great disappointment that tradition and culture have been deliberately ignored. Twelve years ago there was no such problem. Why now??

Fortunately, there are small businesses who still give out red envelopes that have the Dog icon to remind the recipients that they are receiving ang pows in this Year of the Dog.

Wishing everyone Gong Xi Fa Cai and may the Year of the Dog bring you good cheer and abundance.

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The Year That Was

2017 was a year of many memories, some pleasant, others unpleasant.

Among the pleasant events was our move into our permanent home, a decent sized apartment in a standalone tower block.

It has a balcony where I can now grow plants, a hobby that I missed desperately when we sold our landed home and moved into temporary premises that didn’t allow me to indulge in my love for plants, especially house plants. Now my balcony has pots of house plants that give me great joy as I see them transform from tiny plants into beautiful greens of varying sizes and shades.

Meeting up with my class of 1959 buddies a couple of times in the capital city had us going down memory lane and we are so blessed that we still have a dozen of us still able to make these luncheons, albeit, grey, pleasantly rounded or bamboo thin. Our spirits are high and we’re like the school girls we were eons ago, giggling and still arguing the way we used to! Old is truly gold.

Getting together with my siblings for meals and catching up was always a happy occasion as we seldom have the opportunity to have everyone together at the same time. The bah kut teh breakfasts with my younger brother (he’ll be 72 next month!) are de rigeur whenever I happen to be in town. After breakfast, we would walk to the market to buy fruits and last year, he bought me different types of durians, jackfruit and pineapples as well as rambutans. We all share a love of good, tasty food.

The wedding of my nephew to his sweetheart was the highlight of the year. I saw relatives whom I had not seen for years and it was great that we could catch up while enjoying the delicious dishes of the wedding banquet. 

My sisters and I also met up with our former sister-in-law who took us to Jenjarom to see the beautiful temple gardens that were beautifully decorated with plants and lights as well as colorful sculptures of the Rooster.

However, the unpleasant memories are those associated with pain and the pain came in different degrees. First was my fractured toe. My foot hit the door jamb as I was rushing out from my bedroom. It was two months before it healed and I had to stay home most of the time.

Then came the most excruciating pain of all. When I got up from my desk, a sudden spasm of pain shot right through from my waist to my left foot. I couldn’t place my foot on the floor and I couldn’t walk. The slightest movement had me shrieking in pain.

I was hospitalized for the pain and heavy doses of different painkillers enabled me to settle for the night semi-reclining as I couldn’t lie down flat.  

   

Xrays and an MRI revealed that the last disc in my spine had been compressed and a sudden movement had triggered the pain.  Fortunately, the specialists concurred that there was no need for surgery (Praise the Lord) but I have to be very careful when I move. No sudden movements but to take it slow and easy.

Perhaps the most painful of all was the moment that someone whom I had considered to be a very good friend, simply disappeared without any explanation although arrangements had been made to meet up for lunch and also to visit the Land Below The Wind, taking the same flight. There had been no explanations for both no shows and I felt very hurt and let down. I always value my friends and will never let them down in such a manner. I subscribe to the belief that a man's word is his honor and breaking his word shows him in bad light, especially when no reason is given.

2018 will be a better year, I hope and I look forward to the incoming Chinese Lunar New Year, which will be the Year of The Dog, Man’s best friend.

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