A Lifetime of Lessons

Have you ever wondered what we are here for? Why are we here?

We are the fruit of our parents' union and we go through stages of growth. That's a fact.

Looking back, it becomes clear that life is a series of lessons to learn the experiential way as we pass through the various stages.

As babies we cried to have our needs met as we had no
language to express them. Babies learn quickly to manipulate their parents, crying when their demands are not met.

Toddlers are no exception and they can make life miserable for parents with their constant tantrums and often unreasonable demands.

From age four until pre-teens, these are the exciting
years of discovery, with teachers and parents being the guides.

Then come the turbulent teens, a phase where adolescence brings with it conflicts, rebelliousness, puppy love, etc. Pushing the boundaries,so to speak and testing the patience of parents. A very vulnerable period indeed for both teens and parents as it is fraught with unknowns. A child can go bad during this phase if not properly managed.

In adulthood more experiences lie in store, good and bad. A great deal of time is spent in the pursuit of dreams and career building.
We settle down with our life partners to build a home and a family and the life cycle begins again.

I was reading a book in which a sage shared that in life we are actually preparing for death and it would be wise to pause during our frenetic materialistic pursuits to consider how we are doing spiritually. Have we touched base with our God? At the moment of death, what can we say about our contributions to the betterment of our fellow beings? As we stand beore our Maker on Judgement Day,are there any points in our favor?

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Money

"Money is the root of all evil" has been debated over and over by students throughout the decades. It has been pointed out that it is the way money is used that is the issue.

It can be used to build or destroy. The enabling power of money is the reason why almost everyone wants more and more of it. Most people work hard for it, a fair exchange for service provided. However, there are those who procure it through illegal or immoral means.


Crimes are committed as a shortcut to getting money. Extortion, abduction for ransom purpose, robbery, commercial crimes such as fraud, breach of trust, misappropriation of funds are just some examples.Massive corruption among those in office has also enriched many, much to the detriment of the citizenry.

Those who have amassed their fortune by sweat and toil sleep easy.
What about those who have been less than honest? Do you think they sleep easy and will the long arm of the Law catch up with them?

Having money makes a difference in lives. Those who suffer from life-threatening diseases can avail themselves of the best medical options. Those without the means can only hope that the period of suffering will be mercifuly short.

A bespoke lifestyle is only possible where money is plentiful. Some are born into it as the saying goes "born with a silver ( but I prefer to use 'golden') spoon in his mouth". The have-nots live from hand to mouth.

It's what you do with money that counts. If you can use it to make a difference in someone's life, you will be blessed in more ways than one.

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Many young people are too busy these days to have time for socialising except online going on Twitter or Facebook. Opportunities for human face-to-face interaction and socialising are scarce with the long working hours and long commutes from workplace to home and vice-versa.

As a result there are many singles of both sexes with hardly any opportunities to meet, let alone find a life partner. In days of old, my grandmother used to say that marriages are made in Heaven,
that at the moment of birth, two humans are already tied together with a red string so that no matter where they are, they will end up together as life partners.

These days, those who want to find life partners have several avenues through which they can help themselves. They have the option of dating online,
joining membership sites that match-make their members, or join off-line agencies that arrange meetings, parties and other fun events for singles.

From there it is up to the singles to decide whom they would like to get to know better, whether to meet if they began their friendship online. Going on dates then follows and this may or may not lead to the desired outcome. If it doesn’t then, the whole process begins again.

There are some singles who are disillusioned and are determined to remain single because they maintain that having seen their friends tie the knot only to dissolve it a year later is something they want to avoid.
They are quite happy to remain single, enjoying the occasional partying and casual friendships.

The institution of marriage is not held sacrosanct by many in these modern times. In the past, efforts would be made to salvage the relationship but these days it appears that marriage vows are easily set aside and changing partners is like changing one’s clothes. If a relationship is not to one’s expectations, then the partners want out. The issue seems to be about “self, self and more self”.

Many have opted to live together without that “piece of paper” that would legalise their relationship. The children that come along are unfortunate if their parents do not formalise their union by getting a marriage certificate for they would be considered bastards as they are born out of wedlock and the odds are stacked against them right from the start. I wonder if the adults are aware that they are short-changing their off-spring because of the perversity of the decision not to get that piece of paper.

It is all a matter of choice and the decision ultimately lies with the people involved. The convenience and advantages of being a singleton which could later translate into boredom and loneliness, have to be weighed against being a twosome and its attendant benefits and burdens in the long-term that will include a house echoing with the pitter-patter of little feet and screams for attention which could drive you up the wall.

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Your Child is First Priority

Another case of baby abuse where the little one died at the hands of his minder who had been working with his family for two years. After two years one would think that she would have a reasonably good relationship with her employers and the child whom she was entrusted to care for. Unfortunately it didn’t turn out to be so as the baby, a 15 month old boy, was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital. The autopsy revealed that he died from strangulation and there was also other evidence of his being stomped on and kicked as well. Old fractures in his legs were also evident. The maid had telephoned the father at work that his child had fallen and was unconscious, prompting him to ask his relative who lived nearby to go to his house and to send his child to the hospital.

The maid ran away and according to the newspapers, was in another house being interviewed for a job when the man realised that this was the woman whom the police were looking for, in connection with the death of a child. He called the police and she was taken into custody on a charge of murder.

Whatever the outcome of the case, nothing will bring back the child whose life was extinguished by the inhumane treatment he was subjected to.

Young children are very vulnerable, especially when they are too young to defend themselves against adult abusers and unable to communicate with their parents about their treatment at the hands of their caregivers. There have been many such cases and I suspect lots more that go unreported or remain unknown.

It is time that parents consider what their priorities are: the welfare of their young children or a double income for a better life style. There is bound to be a sacrifice. One cannot have the cake and eat it at the same time.


I know of some young working mothers who took no pay leave or even resigned from their jobs in order to look after their babies. The young couples who are lucky, have their own parents to fall back upon, old though they may be. My good friend’s son is a case in point. The two sets of grandparents would take turns to stay with the young couple to supervise the maid when the children were very young. They deemed it unwise to leave the young children in the hands of the maid while both of them were out working the whole day. My nephew brings his child and the maid to his parents’ house before he and his wife go to work.

Another alternative would be the crèche which is registered and has trained child minders to care for the children. Such a crèche should also fulfil conditions such as the number of children they can take in and the ratio of children to child minders. It should also be monitored so that standards are maintained and the children are well-looked after.

Ideally, the workplace, if the company is big enough, should have its own crèche so that the mothers can look in on their young children during their lunch break, perhaps to help out, time permitting. In this way, the company retains its staff and the mothers have peace of mind knowing that their children will not be at the tender mercy of the care-giver.

Other parents send their children to private childminders, usually housewives whose children are already big. These childminders usually look after two children, which could be a better option if you know their background and have been providing such services.

All said and done, mothers are the best people to look after their own babies and this will enable them to bond with and nurture their young, ensuring that the babies grow into healthy and confident children. They would also be spared from the guilt complex of leaving their young with unknown strangers brought into their homes to look after them while they go out to work to support a better life style. Remember a baby trusts you with his life. He should always be your first priority.

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