The Pressure to Perform

A few days ago, my grandson came running up to where I was waiting for his sister and him after the school bell had rung. He thrust a piece of paper into my hand.

I looked at it and realised that it was the results slip of the national elementary school examinations. He had accomplished what he had set out to do, to achieve the maximum 7As in all the subjects he sat for in the examination. I congratulated him on getting through with such flying colours. His sister then came up and asked how he fared. Knowing that it would be her turn to sit for the same examination the next year and having her brother already setting the standard, she must be feeling the pressure now.

In fact the school which they attend, is also under great pressure to perform, to produce as many top students as possible, so much so that the children who will be sitting for the examination next year, are required to attend another extra two weeks of school even though it is now officially vacation time. So while the rest of the school children are enjoying their year end holidays, my granddaughter and her classmates will have another two weeks' of school.

Although these two siblings are not put under pressure to excel in their examinations but only told to do their best, nevertheless they put themselves under pressure as their classmates are very competitive.

It is a fact that Malaysians are a very competitive lot and from young, this trait has been honed by peer pressure and more often than not, by parental pressure. Doing well means more opportunities later in life, especially if they are disciplined to give of their best in whatever they do. In this regard, credit must go to the Chinese schools where such discipline is imposed upon the children. Sadly, the same cannot be said of many national schools where discipline is lax and schools under perform, except for those with long-standing traditions of good school culture.

Still, one cannot help but wonder if this pressure to perform is all good. Some children cannot take pressure and often suffer physically and mentally. The paper chase can be taken to the extreme and the wholistic development of a child is often forgotten. Not all children are academically inclined and the education system has to cater for all types of children, to nurture latent talents and impart skills of living and interacting, rather than to focus on the strings of As and Bs.

Let children be children, allow them to enjoy their childhood. Let not the adults be killjoys by ramming studies down their little throats. It's time the whole education system be revamped to be more practical and functional, to encourage critical thinking and creativity, to foster character development, social skills and skills that will be of use to them later on in life.

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Then and Now

I am now at an age where I can make comparisons between "then" and "now". Changes have evolved at such a quick pace and man's creativity is astounding.

In my childhood days, all laundry was done
with a wooden scrubbing board and a metal basin of water. Then came the washing machine
which automated the process and the chore which let you have well-toned arms is now a flick of the switch and pressing a couple of buttons. The machine even beeps to let you know that your wash is done.This is truly a housewife's boon.
The way we communicate today is a far cry from what it used to be. The old telephone with the ring dial
has been superceded by the handphones of innumerable styles with multiple functions
such as internet surfing, texting, taking photographs, videos, social networking,emailing,playing games, etc., etc.However, the downside is that everyone is so engrossed with whatever they are doing on their phones
that good, old face-to-face interaction has taken a backseat. Haven't you ever felt lost with your handphone? If you found yourself in a spot where you had forgotten to bring it along with you, didn't you feel bereft? It's as if you left a part of yourself behind!
To me, my phone is like a life-line. The other day I forgot it as I was in a hurry to get to town. The result? I made sure I drove very slowly so that I wouldn't find myself in a situation where I would be helpless without any means to call for help. I can tell you it was quite stressful!
Gadgetry is here to stay. Even the very young ones are adept at handling and using them!
These will the tech whizzes of the next generation. Everything will be technology-based and if you do not keep abreast of the fast-changing innovatons and the superspeed evolution of knowledge,you will be like a fossil, frozen in your time capsule.

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Are We Done?

As previously mentioned, life is a cycle. From babyhood to childhood to adolescence;we continue to develop and grow into young adults. Work, courtship, marriage, bringing up babies, educating them until they become independent young adults who then continue the cycle as we have done.

Once the youngest child leaves the home to build his own, are we as parents done? Have we discharged our responsibilities once he or she leaves home to get married?

Or is it only the beginning of another stage?

I guess it depends on individual parents. There are those who feel happy that their children are off their hands, so to speak, no more a financial responsibility and there is someone else who will look after them, either husbands or wives.

There are others who still feel they have to help out when the babies come along. Some friends have said that being grandparents is wonderful because you get to play with the babies and then hand them back when they get too much to handle.

Yet there are folks whose children treat them as unpaid help and make them look after the babies, plus the housework as well. They drop their young children at their parents' place and do not pick them up until late at night, and this is for everyday of the week! Not even the weekends are free as they themselves want to relax after working during the week. For goodness sake! What do they take their parents for? Why have babies if they don't want to look after them? These babies are their responsiblity, not their parents'.


Surely their parents have done more than enough for them? Aren't they entitled to a life of their own, to relax and enjoy whatever years they have left of their lives?

To all grandparents, if you ever feel that you are being imposed upon by your children, it is time you stand up for yourself. Make it clear that your responsibilities are done, and that you can help out in emergencies but in no way are you going to be full-time nannies a second time round.
It's time to be selfish and to live for yourselves for you do not know how many more tomorrows you have. You need to live each day as if it is your last.
Cheers!

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