Anniversaries

Anniversaries are milestones in one's life journey. The most celebrated are the wedding anniversaries: paper anniversary and so forth till you get to the silver, and if one is lucky, the golden anniversary.

Of course the paper anniversary which is the first anniversary will be happily celebrated as the young couple are still in their honeymoon stage. When you can get to celebrate your silver anniversary, that really is something because it means both of you have weathered the ups and downs in your marriage and are still together.

The other anniversary is the death anniversary. We see notices in the newspapers with photographs of the deceased indicating the anniversary of the departure of their loved ones.

Today is my fifth sister's third anniversary. She passed away 3 years ago after a courageous battle with cancer. She fought the disease for two years, each round of chemo leaving her more fragile and a shadow of her former radiant self. The disease was devastating her system but her spirit was very strong. She refused to let the disease stop her from leading a normal life.

Cancer is an insidious disease. It takes hold without you realising it until it is too late. Then the arduous battle begins but it is usually a losing one as the toxic cocktail of drugs weakens your system progressively. It is a disease that literally eats you away. I watched my two sisters become wraiths before my eyes as the disease progessively attacked the internal organs. It is a disease that cannibalises its victims.

My sister was a loving and loyal wife, mother and grandmother. Yes, she saw her newborn granddaughter before she passed on. However she was not lucky enough to enjoy her grandchild as she had weakened considerably and the baby was still too young then to interact with her. She had guts and determination. Her faith in her religion was exemplary. She took her suffering in her stride and never complained. Ill as she was, she still gave comfort to others.

I miss her very much. At one stage we used to play golf whenever I went to Kuala Lumpur. I miss her elegance, her beautiful smile and the lovely lunches that we shared. She knew where the best food was and it was amazing how she negotiated the maze of roads so alien to me, to get us to where we would try out something new. I can occasionally sense her presence. Her image is still very clear in my mind.

This brings me comfort and makes me feel all the more certain that another dimension exists alongside ours. Those who have passed on inhabit this dimension and when our number is up, I believe we pass into this other dimension where we will re-unite with our loved ones. Life in this world is fleeting and transitory. Our body is a garment which we will shed when we move on to the next stage.

So what happens after death? Do we remain in that parallel dimension as energy or spiritual being or do we reincarnate? According to the book "Messages from the Masters" ( by Brian Weiss M.D. ) we go through a renewal stage followed by a learning stage and then we have a choice, either to stay in spirit form or to return in another lifetime, to continue learn and grow. According to Dr Weiss, lifetimes are scripted to enhance our learning and evolution.

This is a book worth reading.

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Retirement

Beautiful Tasmania

Yes, retirement is a stage eagerly anticipated when you are young and stuck with the mundane routine of waking up, going to work, going home, watching tv and going to bed. This is the cycle most people are in, from the day they begin working until the day they retire.

This phase of life is where one is concerned with building: building a career, building a home for your family and funding a nestegg for your children's education and your retirement. It takes up the bulk of your time and unless you are careful about balancing the scales of family life and work, you may find yourself in circumstances that you never believed would happen to you.

When retirement is upon you, what then? The day before, your colleagues feted you and gave you a rousing sendoff. The following day, it dawns upon you that you no longer need to show up at the office that has been your second home, you no longer have to do what you have been doing for the many years past. So what do you do?

Aha, you savour a leisurely breakfast with your spouse if he or she is also retired. Otherwise, it is breakfast all by yourself. Where are the rest of the family? Perhaps you have a child away at college, another who is married and staying somewhere else. You wander through the house and settle down with the news online or turn the pages of the local newspaper.

Come lunchtime, you go out for a bite or rustle up something for yourself in the kitchen. Hang it all, everything is so quiet! You turn on the tv but there is nothing that really catches your interest at this time. Time, time is hanging on your hands. You feel quite lost. Well, perhaps a drive to the nearest shopping mall to window shop and while away the time. Then home for an afternoon nap which you've never had previously.

On waking up, you look at the clock. Ah, soon your spouse will be back. When the key turns in the lock, you are there to greet him/her. So eager are you for company that you chatter nineteen to the dozen without giving the other party a chance to speak. Yabber, yabber, yabber....

Dinner time comes and goes. You watch tv and it's then bedtime. What a relief! Until the next day!!!

On the other hand, some people will say that they can do the things they never had time to do when they were still working. Ah, retirement's the time to read all the books that have been piling up, do the crossword puzzles, create patchwork quilts, go to the cinema, catch up with friends or even take up a new hobby.

Well, to each his own. Me, after the initial withdrawal symptoms, I adjusted to a life that is less of a treadmill. Now I'm hooked to the nightly soap operas on tv. By day, I read books that I've not had time to read while listening to my favourite music and in the late afternoon fetch my grandchildren home from school. In the evenings I cook dinner and in the early mornings, enjoy a round of golf. I visit my children who are away from home every couple of months and if I feel like it, I opt for a holiday tour to some place I've not been before. That's life!! I've earned my retirement like most of you and am enjoying it. I hope you're enjoying yours too.

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What comes next?

Have you ever wondered what comes next? We come into the world, just like everyone else, go through the phases of life - childhood, adolescence, adulthood - accumulate memories of each phase, both pleasant and unpleasant, and in the rat race to survive, build a life and a family, settle into a routine and face whatever comes each day.

But have you ever stopped to wonder what's next? Maybe we are too busy to ponder on this. When we look through the newspapers, we read of accidents that maim or bring fatal consequences; the obituaries that announce the passing of people, old and young. The passing, where do they pass to?

Religion states that we come from God. We have souls clothed in earthly form and when we pass on or depart from life, we discard this earthly form and return to God. Through the milleniums, there would have been millions of souls who have passed through the stages of birth and death. So what happens to souls after death?

My grandmother who was a Buddhist, used to tell me about the 18 stages of Hell which is depicted graphically in the Tiger Balm gardens (Haw Par Villa). I dont know if this is still in existence. She said that people who were kind would not go to hell where the wicked were tortured but could look forward to being reborn to a better life. Thus was I introduced to the importance of being kind and to do good and also the concept of reincarnation.

Reincarnation - many do not subscribe to this at all. However, what happens to the millions of souls then? WHere do they go? Is there a place which shelters all who have passed on? Such a vast space? OR are souls recycled? Do animals, creatures created to populate the earth also have souls? Are they recycled as well into animals again or into some other form?

Is there another realm that exists alongside ours? That which we cannot see, since we are earthlings in mortal form. There could be another dimension alongside ours, perhaps layers of dimensions into which souls pass once they shed their mortal form. Have you ever felt the presence of "others", especially those of kith and kin who have passed on?

I have felt such presence, of my family members and loved ones. The feeling is such as if they were still with me in our earthly realm except that I cannot see them. I feel their presence and recall their voices, remember their smiles, what they said. This feeling is always a happy feeling and the closeness of their presence is such that I feel that I could touch them. Sometimes I even feel the hug of a close one.

I dont know. Has anyone felt this way, or share my view about this other dimension?

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Birthdays

Birthdays are milestones in one's life journey. Some are ignored or even forgotten in the busy whirl of activities. Birthdays are usually celebrated by loved ones to show their love for the birthday girl/boy.

Children love birthdays for the occasion means food and friends to share the fun and games. I remember my children's birthdays. They would get very excited as they could choose the type of birthday cakes they wanted. There was a train and three carriages one year, a beautiful doll in an exquisite ballgown, an aeroplane, a teddy bear, etc. etc. Then there were the presents to open and the oohs and ahs as their friends' gifts came to light.

Not all adults celebrate their birthdays though some may have an evening out with close friends or do something special to mark that day. Older adults have their birthdays celebrated for them by their offspring, in the form of a meal and gifts.

I am blessed with loving children, siblings and beloved friends. Each year, they never fail to mark the occasion of my birthday with a special meal, a birthday cake and presents. This year was truly special. My second daughter flew home giving me such a beautiful surprise. My dear old friend asked me out for tea with a couple of other friends and throughout the day greetings and good wishes came in via sms and ecards. My siblings called from Melbourne, Kuala Lumpur; my son from Singapore. That I was in their thoughts made my day. My young grandchildren made special birthday cards wishing me good health and longetivity. My grandson wished that I will always be as healthy as the two potted flowering plants that he drew in his card and my granddaughter drew a birthday cake with lots of candles. They really touched my heart.

Each birthday brings the thought "how many more??" No wonder the greeting "many happy returns" becomes more significant with each passing year. Whatever it is, how many more to come, nothing is more important than enjoying the day, relishing the love that surrounds one, and counting one's blessings. It can be a time to take stock and to see how one can improve oneself and make the effort to do some good, leaving footprints of note behind.

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