Of Ang Pau and Red Faces

One Chinese New Year tradition eagerly anticipated by young persons is the ang pau. It is a sum of money enclosed in red envelopes which have pretty designs. Many ang pau envelopes are given free by commercial banks to their customers as it is also a form of advertising. Some hypermarkets also give them to customers whose purchases reach a certain amount. Children are very happy to receive these ang pau when they visit their relatives or their parents' friends. It is a tradition that married couples give ang pau to children and to those who are single. New notes of different value go into these ang pau, depending on one's financial means and to whom one is giving the ang pau to. It is the norm to give more to your relatives and a lesser amount to others, especially during open houses when friends of friends bring along many children.

Of late there have been reports in the media that young persons have voiced their dissatisfaction over what they received in their ang pau.

I think this reflects a mercenary streak which is telling of an undesirable trait taking root among the disgruntled young. It tantamounts to looking a gift horse in the mouth. It is usual for a person to give what he can afford. Two Ringgit used to be the norm and still is for many. These days five Ringgit is more common. It's a bonus if you get ten Ringgit, a red note. The very wealthy are able to give as much as they wish.

Tradition it may be but it would be prudent to realise that not every married person is obliged to give you an ang pau, never mind how much it contains. One should be gracious enough to accept it with a "thank you" and to refrain from peeking inside whilst still a guest in a host's home. That is a faux pas which will discredit your parents. The Chinese New Year is an occasion for reconciliation, reunion and bonding. It is a celebration of close ties and friendships.

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Red, the Color of the Chinese Lunar Year

During the Chinese New Year, red is the predominant color. You see it everywhere. The shops are full of red decorative items, red flowers and many of the new year clothing are also red. Red is considered an auspicious color, the color of good luck and fortune. That is why “ang pau” (red packets/envelopes) containing varying sums of money are given to children and the singles. Red is a warm or even a hot color. It arouses feelings. During the Chinese New Year, it makes people happy and eager to celebrate the occasion. Men and women don red clothing to mark the happy occasion and ang pau are aplenty for children who wish their elders Gong Xi Fa Cai which approximately translates to Wishing you a Happy and Prosperous New Year.

Most of the shopping malls are decorated in red. Lanterns are red, the flowers are red and many people are wearing red. Red lanterns are hung across the streets, Chinese temples have red lanterns strung across their courtyards and many homes belonging to the Chinese have red lanterns hanging in their car porches. Fire crackers are red too, so that when they are burnt, the ground is like a red carpet. Stalls set up for this festive season sell items that relate to the New Year. One stall is selling miniature lion heads and there is a large lion head placed at one corner to attract customers. Others sell beautifully cut paper patterns that have auspicious meanings and there are also stalls that sell red knotted decorations. Paintings and embroidered pictures of cranes are also on sale. A crane symbolizes peace and longetivity. Pictures of gold fish are also popular as they signify prosperity. Such gifts are very meaningful for the older generation as they are aware of their significance.

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Your Word Your Honor?

Is your word your honor or is this outdated? I know in the old days, business was conducted based on the vendor and buyer’s word. Their word and a handshake sealed a transaction. There was no need for a written contract.

These days, there are scams everywhere and one would be most foolish to do deals without any black and white terms and conditions.

On the personal side, do you stick by your word? Do you honor a promise made? Or do you subscribe to “Promises are made to be broken”? When you say that you will meet up, say for a round of golf, early in the morning, do you show up way before the appointed time or do you leave your friend to wait and wait until she realizes that you’re a no show?

I was once in such a situation but fortunately another friend happened to come by so I did have my round although I had been left in the lurch earlier. It was embarrassing to have to say that your partner didn’t show up but that reflected badly on her. It was a gross breach of etiquette. Needless to say, I never made another appointment with her.

With children, your word, once given, must be kept at all costs or they will never trust you again. Just because they are children, it doesn’t mean that they can be put off and disappointed.

If you’ve never been let down you will not understand the disappointment nor the bad feeling that you’ve been stood up. Children are very sensitive souls and more easily hurt than an adult who can just push the hurt to one side and forget about it. They can be damaged if let down once too often.

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What’s In a Name?

Plenty I would say. Your name is your most precious possession. It is your identity. People know you by your name.

Christian or western names have become very popular among Asians. One reason is it is easier to remember. A Chinese name has three words to it while a western name only one. Take mine for instance, Lim Seong Ngor, Lim being my family name while Seong Ngor is the name given to me by my grandaunt. My mother, being western educated, gave me a western name, Peggy. Most of my friends call me Peggy instead of Seong Ngor as it is easier to remember.

Chinese names are unique in that female siblings will have one part of their names in common, i.e. my sisters all have Seong as part of their names too. So there is Seong Phin, Seong Tin and so on. The male siblings too have one part of their names in common. In my family that part is Hun, so my brothers are Hun Yeong, Hun Soon, Hun Chye. This indicates that we are siblings and belong to the same family.

Male babies are very much cherished as they perpetuate the family line. Girls are married out when they grow up and will become part of their spouses’ families. For the men who do not have sons, their family lines will die with them. That is one reason why Chinese men want at least a son. In the past, if his wife does not bear him a son, he will take another wife to get that all important son. However, things have changed considerably and there are men these days who are no longer concerned with this issue. Many men have three daughters and are happy with that.

However there are still some who will persist in having a son and so long as they have the money, getting a son is no problem these days. There are what is known as designer babies. You can choose the sex of your babies. This is now a very lucrative niche market.

All Chinese names have meanings just as Western names do. However western names are commonly shared by many, that is, hundreds of people are called Peter or John or Aaron. Chinese names however, are unique. It is very rare to find someone who has the same name as you especially when it is written in Chinese characters. Your name is unique to you and singular.

A lot of thought goes into choosing a name for a newborn as it will have a bearing on his personality and his future. Even the number of strokes in the characters is very important. This much I know as I’m not Chinese educated and I only know how to write my name because my father taught me and he said that knowing how to write one’s name is very important.

I have a beautiful name and the Chinese characters indicate that I was named after the Lady in the Moon. Unfortunately I was told that I’m not worthy of the name in that it is too lofty for a mere mortal like me. As a result, my health suffers and I’ve been dogged by illnesses ever since childhood. I was advised to change my name but I didn’t do so, out of respect for my grandaunt who had given me that name and I do like my name despite the drawbacks. However, most folks know me as Peggy anyway.

A child will have to live with his/her name all his/her life so parents must choose the name wisely so that the child can be comfortable with his/her name. It should not be one that makes him or her cringe with embarrassment or make him or her the butt of jokes. Some parents can be very insensitive or plain ignorant of the consequences of an ill-chosen name.

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