From the point of view of a mom, I think this is highly unlikely. Unlikely, mind you, meaning that possibly, some parents do favor a child over the others.
Speaking for myself, I love all my three children equally; I love them very much. They were given the same opportunities and they have made the best of what they have been given, praise the Lord.
In some families the youngest has always been the favored and pampered one, spoiled by parents and the older siblings, especially if there is a big gap between the youngest and the one before. In some very traditional Asian families, the boys are still favored over the girls.
To the Chinese, the boy carries the family name, so they are preferred. Girls marry out of the families and belong to the family they marry into. It was because of this that in the past, families did not see there was any necessity of sending girls to schools. There are still many women in Asian societies who have not been schooled and they are at a disadvantage. They have no marketable skills should anything happen to their husbands.
These days, people are enlightened enough not to discriminate between boys and girls and they are given equal opportuniies, thanks to the policy of free school education. Some parents have even taken another step forward, i.e. to keep the cord blood of the newborn so that it can be used in the future should the need arise in a medical situation.
I just completed reading a book by Jodi Piccoult entitled "My Sister's Keeper" where a baby was conceived so that she would be a perfect match for her older sister who had been diagnosed with a form of terminal cancer.
Here we have a child not conceived out of love per se but as a donor to keep her sister alive. It is a very interesting and compelling read as issues were raised, such as the child's right to her body. Her mother was making all the decisions to have her donate blood, bone marrow, etc from the time she was born ( her cord blood was used to save her sister )until she became a teenager and she decided that enough was enough. She took out a law suit against her parents for "medical emancipation" as she felt she was entitled to make the decision whether or not she wants to continue to donate her tissues, blood, etc to her sister and not on her mother's say so.
This is a story but in real life I believe there are cases where out of desperation, a child has been conceived to help another sibling as siblings are deemed to be better matches than strangers.
Is this morally acceptable? Is it ethical for the doctors to put a healthy child at risk ( in certain procedures )in order to save another? Does this show that the parents love this second child less and perceives her just as a donor to be used? Will this child grow up to see herself as serving only the single purpose of being her sibling's life buoy? Do parents have the right to use a child in this way?
In other situations where there is a severely handicapped child, parents often focus on this child to the exclusion of the others. Sacrifices are made to ensure the well-being of the handicapped child, sometimes at the expense of the other children. Would this be considered favoritism?
On the other hand, a handicapped child is sometimes hidden away as he could be an embarassment to the family and side-lined. Or a gifted sibling may be given all the attention and opportunities to further excel while his not-so-smart brother may be left to his own devices. Could he feel unwanted and useless because he is not as smart as his brother?
Perhaps we as parents should stop and take stock from time to time. Are we doing the right thing for each child and in his best interests? It would take some soul searching.
No comments:
Post a Comment