As time evolves, values tend to change. People have become more materialistic and many are trying to keep up with the Joneses. Often, in the race to get to the top, some do not bother who they have to step on or push aside. People get played out, friendships betrayed or trivialised in the crush, in the "dog eat dog" world of today.
Competition is stiff and getting more so. This is apparent even in schools, where children are urged to out-perform their school mates. They are rushed from school to tuition classes and extra-curricular activities such as martial arts, ballet, music, art classes, etc. etc. The majority of children of today are short-changed of their childhood. They do not have the time to enjoy their childhood years, where children should be out playing with friends rather than sitting in rooms plodding over work books. Where is the bonding time in families?
Mothers are busy chauffering their children to classes, going from point A to Z, trying to multi-task. Taking time to slow down and talking, playing with their children has often been forgotten. It's mostly " How many marks did you get..... Why not ...... How come your friend got more marks..... etc...you must have ....A's ...etc etc..that's why I pay so much money to send you to tuition...etc etc."
It's no wonder that children are frustrated, stressed out and often hostile. It's a wonder that they are coping at all.
I've seen kids who are sullen most of the time, withdrawn and unsociable. Children by and large are happy young people, very spontaneous in play and forthcoming.
However, not much joy can be seen these days. Small wonder if they are preoccupied with homework, tuition, performance, made worse by nagging parents.
Some are growing up without the basic courtesies such as saying "Thank you". "Please" or even addressing their elders respectfully. I think the tv has in part been a bad influence, especially the Cantonese serials where parents are addressed not with respect but often belittled or ridiculed. It may not have been intentional as the producers probably thought it a matter of "fun" or "playfulness" to address a mother as "old mother...." I dont even have the correct translation for the last word.
I have seen teenagers not addressing their elders at all even when they are guests. It is a Chinese tradition that the elders are addressed properly with due respect and as such, the form of address shows the relationship and status in the family. For example, your mother's eldest sister is addressed as "Tua Yee" and her second sister as "G Yee" etc. while your father's eldest sister is addressed as "Tua Kor" and second sister as "G Kor".
If you already have a child yourself, then your child will address your mother's eldest sister as "Tua Yee Poh", the second sister as "G Yee Poh". The "Poh" indicates the status of "grandhood" as in grandaunt or in the case of granduncle it is "Kong" as in " Tua Koo Kong", the right address( by your child ) for your mother's eldest brother.
This tradition of according the proper respect to elders appears to be eroding and the youngsters simply lump everyone as "uncle" or "aunty" which is incorrect and disrespectful. It is acceptable if you are not related to the elder. In fact it is a respectful address by people you don't know, the ordinary person in the street.
Malaysians are by and large, polite people who will address an older person as "uncle" or "aunty" which seems strange to Westerners. This address does not indicate relationship but is a polite form of addressing older people which is a good practice and to be emulated by youngsters.
I think we ought to maintain the traditional values of respect, especially in families and it is up to the parents to instil this into the young as they do not know better. The insistence of correct and proper address is a valuable tradition that ought not to die out as it indicates relationship and also fosters closeness.
I for one, would not be pleased if a nephew were to address me as "auntie" instead of "Tua Yee" for I would feel diminished, not regarded as a blood relative. It is not a case of being "old-fashioned" as the young are wont to say but my stand that such time-honoured traditions should be valued and preserved for posterity. We should not let indifference chip away our traditional values but ensure that the younger generation continue to observe them.
No comments:
Post a Comment