Yesterday I received an invitation from an old friend to go to her club and watch the sun go down which I had to decline as I do not have such a luxury of time anymore. I told her it was not possible as I had to cook dinner for my family.
We met for early lunch instead during which she brought up the subject of why I had to cook. I informed her that we do not have a maid and haven’t had one for the past two years. “Why not?” she asked.
It’s not that we can’t afford to engage one. It’s just that we’ve been let down so many times by the maids we used to have. Year before last, we returned home from a holiday to find that my house plants had withered and died, even though the maid was tasked to water them in my absence. She not only did not do the housework but she also ran up a telephone bill of RM1500.00 during the three weeks that we were away.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, she had destroyed the bills so that we had no inkling of what she had done. It was only after I received a notice of imminent disconnection of our telephone line that we discovered what she had been doing instead of working. By that time my daughter had terminated her employment as she could no longer tolerate her lies and her laziness.
The one prior to that dishonest maid lasted only two days because she was homesick.So my daughter had to send her all the way back to the house where she was staying with her friends that very night itself.
Apart from the red tape of getting a work permit and agent fees, etc etc, t’s such a hassle to deal with them that we’d rather not have one.
Instead of the employer interviewing them, they “interview” you. Before you can even ask them about their work experience, they want to know how much you will pay them, the size of your house, the number of occupants, how many meals they have to cook etc etc. They want a t.v., a fan, etc. etc
When you ask them if they know how to cook, they say yes, they can do this, they can do that. Come the time when they start work, you realize that they don’t even know how to turn on the gas fire, they don’t know how to use the rice cooker nor the washing machine. They don’t know how to iron clothes, in other words, what they told us were lies when they said they could do everything. They couldn’t even fry vegetables! And they had demanded a high salary.
That’s ok. Patiently I teach them slowly, how to do everything from scratch. I show them how to hang the clothes on the lines, how to fold them etc. However, when I was away, my daughter told me, on my return, that the maid didn’t even bother to peg the clothes on the lines so that the wind blew them all over the garden and she couldn’t care less when ticked off. In fact my daughter said that she lost weight when the maid was “working” for us. She stole the children’s things, their special treats, etc. and my daughter couldn’t take it anymore and told her to leave.
She asked me to try out whether we can do without a maid as she was fed up with them. It’s worked out fine as the grandchildren are now bigger and they can help with the chores. We now have a lady who comes in for a few hours on Saturdays to do some general cleaning.
So sometimes it’s no wonder that employers, who do not have as much patience or are as long-suffering, blow up in anger and abuse their maids. Still, that is no excuse to abuse someone. But when you hear of the horrifying things that are reported in the newspapers such as the maids putting their menstrual blood into the family soup so that the family will be hexed and be under their “control”, it really sends shivers down your spine.
There have also been reports of maids abusing their young charges when their employers are away at work. There was even a case of a maid who killed the toddler and served up his body parts at the dinner table.
No wonder my good friends have to take turns with the other set of in-laws every couple of months to commute to Singapore to supervise the maid looking after their grandchild.
Another friend who also has two grandchildren has to supervise the three maids that her daughter employs. She finds that in itself very stressful.
The young couples who have their parents willing to help supervise the maids or help with the grandchildren are very lucky indeed. Those who do not, have to leave their young children to the tender mercies of the maids.
This brings back the comments of another friend who feels that it is better for young mothers to stay at home and look after their children especially when they are young and in their formative years rather than leave them in the hands of maids who are largely uneducated and untrained in child care. Sacrifices have to be made, especially when there is only one income during these times of economic hardship but one has to weigh the benefits of nurturing one’s child against that of a second income, of which a sizable chunk would go to paying the maid’s salary. Then again, you are bringing an unknown quantity into your home, a stranger in every respect and you are going to trust your young child to that stranger.
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