Bye Bye 2013

It didn’t seem that long ago when I bade farewell to 2012 and now I’m bidding 2013 goodbye Today is the last day of the year and at midnight tonight we usher in the new year 2014. Where did all the years go since we ushered in the new millennium?

I remember being in London then and everyone was anxious about the news flying around that Y2K would cause all the computers to crash and aeroplanes to drop from the skies. It turned out to be unfounded fears, fortunately, as we were on aboard a flight for home.

Now 2014 is almost upon us. I’m fourteen years older and as I look back I wonder what I have accomplished over those years

Being able to learn and work on the computer is one as computers didn’t exist during my schooldays. I learned to blog and upload photographs. I was introduced to Facebook and YouTube by my grandchildren.  Another is getting re-acquainted with the kitchen again as I do the cooking for the family now. I became a Christian and I also re-ignited my love for creative writing, especially poems.

What else have I learned and discovered?

I learned that old folks are being “exported” to other countries where the costs of caring for them in nursing homes are much less than in their home countries. It makes me wonder if this is a decision made out of necessity or a means of escaping one’s “duty” to care for the aged and infirm family members where out of sight is out of mind.

Another thing I discovered and would like to share is that there are people who do budget to set aside a certain sum towards charity rather than to donate on an ad hoc basis. This is worth emulating.

What plans do I have for 2014?

If I don’t become past tense in the near future, I would like to do more travelling, health allowing, and to cut down on my activities that are taking up too much of my time. I’m wondering if I should retire some of my blogs and delete some email accounts, forget about some of the programs which I’ve signed up for to learn more about internet marketing.

One thing that is certain is that I ought to de-clutter, both physically and mentally.



Wishing everyone a Happy New Year!

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What Is Wrong With Students Today?

There is a world of difference between the students of yester years and the ones of today. Could it be the upbringing?

In the days of old, parents were strict disciplinarians who did not brook any cheek or defiance. If one were to complain about one’s teacher giving one the cane in class, one would be given another dose of it at home. Teachers were highly respected and parents trusted them to give their off spring a good education and being disciplined was part and parcel of the process.

However, these days, students are more apathetic towards their studies and show a lack of concern if they do not fare well in their exams. They are known to disrupt the class when their teachers are trying to teach something in the front of the classroom.  Homework is not handed in and teachers are not accorded the due respect. Is it any wonder that teachers become lackadaisical as well, since their efforts are not appreciated? 

Should they discipline the students, the furor of the parents would descend on them. This situation appears to be the norm these days.  Hence the lack of discipline, lack of parental guidance lead the students to stray. Gangsterism, bullying, dropping out of school and substance abuse result. Gang fights and violence have led to grievous injuries among the victims, with some culminating in death.

Is there a way out of this malaise? The minority of students who wish to study are deprived of a conducive atmosphere to do so and the teachers are demoralized. Elementary school students are still managaeable but once they enter secondary school, problems begin to take root.

Parents and teachers need to come together to hammer out a solution to curb and nip problems in the bud, before they escalate beyond control. The school heads need to pull everyone together to save the schools from becoming a fertile breeding ground for potential criminals.

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I Shall Pass This Way But Once...

“I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being; let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”
- Etienne de Grellet

If all of us can live by this tenet, how much better the world would be.

A little kindness shown to a stranger can make a difference to that person especially if given unsolicited.

Most of us are in too much of a hurry to notice the despair of others or to realize that some are in desperate need of help.  We are far too self-centered to be aware of others’ needs.  A lack of empathy, a lack of sympathy, perhaps a touch of indifference or the terrible attitude of  “ it’s none of my business “-are we not guilty of one of these?

There are many opportunities for us to lend a helping hand to someone less fortunate. Volunteering your service to help those who are not as mobile or whose family members are unable to attend to their needs is one way of doing good. During one of my hospital visits to see the doctor, I had the opportunity to meet a lady who did just that.  She volunteers to accompany old ladies who are wheelchair bound, to see their doctors. She fetches them from their homes and brings them to the hospital and is in attendance until it is time to send them back home.

It is this voluntary service that makes her happy, knowing that she is doing something to help. She didn’t reveal that this was what she was doing. I thought she was accompanying her elderly aunt to see the doctor until she told me that she didn’t even know the lady she was helping. Her church had put her in touch with this elderly lady who needed transport to see the doctor.

It is good to know that by serving others, we are serving God. We should be more sensitive to the people around us who are in need in one way or other. Let us give more of ourselves in service to the Lord.

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Words of Wisdom

 I would like to share the gist of words of wisdom which a friend sent to me.

Our life on this earth is transient. Whatever we have in terms of property and wealth cannot be taken with us when we go to meet our Maker. We can donate some and leave some to our children and grandchildren, only some, not all of it.  For we don’t want them to live in anticipation of our demise to get their inheritance. We should not be afraid to spend money on ourselves.

We should leave our children to find their own path in life. We shouldn’t be their slaves, working so hard just to hand everything to them on a silver platter. There is more to life than working from the cradle to the grave. We should enjoy our money while we can for if we lose our health in obtaining wealth, what’s the point of it all?  We can’t enjoy life when we are terminally ill.

On the other hand we should not expect much from our children. They may be caring and loving but they have their own careers and commitments, often too busy to help us.  What can I say about uncaring children? Many old folks have been abandoned, whether at public hospitals, old folks’ homes or just pushed out of their homes into the streets!

Some children take for granted that they are rightful heirs to our wealth but when we need some help their attitude is that we have no claims to their money.

 So remember, middle-aged parents, don't trade in your health for wealth by working yourself to an early grave anymore... because for all your money, you may not be able to buy back your health...
                                                         
How much do we need?                                                   

                                   
As long as there’s enough food and enough money to spend, it’s good enough.

We shouldn’t worry about things that we can't change because it doesn't help and it may affect our health.

We have to create our own well-being and find our own happiness. Stay positive, be in good mood and think about happy things.  Enjoy the activities that we like and have fun doing and time will pass by happily every day. 

Regular exercise, exercising outdoors and a healthy diet plus the right attitude towards life will lead us closer to that four score and ten milestone which not many people have reached.

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Retirement…

When one is working at today’s frenetic pace, one looks forward to retirement.  It looks so inviting and one tends to dream of that day when one finally clocks out at the office.  No more traffic crawls in the early morning and evening…. Just time to rest and relax, doing what one feels like doing.

Some retirees go travelling, far and near, depending on the travel bug that has bitten them and on their financial resources.  Some settle into a humdrum routine of morning exercise, a leisurely breakfast, reading the newspapers, afternoon naps, dinner and watching t.v., occasionally forwarding emails that are interesting.  Others may take up hobbies or help to babysit grandchildren.

What of the expertise that retirees have?  What happens to that wonderful store of knowledge, skills and experience ?  Is there any way that they can share them ?  Put them to good use?  Are there any opportunities or avenues for such retirees?

A second career?  Part-time work?  It’s a shame to let such rich experience and knowledge waste away while retirees are still healthy.

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Social Media, Boon or Bane?

Social media is here to stay.  It is the fastest way of communicating with friends and relatives. Millions of people are on Facebook and they share news, photos, videos and anything of interest.  Many also use it to promote their businesses.

There is a lot of interaction among the users and posts of interest are often followed avidly.

However it can also be abused. Comments that are uncalled for, insults traded and even vicious personal attacks are often seen online.

Cyber bullies, predators and stalkers also abound.

There have been cases of young people being bullied to such extremes that they were driven to suicide as the only way out of their misery.

Young unsuspecting children are stalked and become victims of predators who pretend to be friends of their own age. This is why parents have been advised to monitor their children’s online activities.

Lately there have been many reports of online scams where women have been cheated of their savings by their Facebook friends.

So there is both good and bad in using social media such as Facebook.

One should tread warily if someone unknown wants to be your friend. The level of privacy should be set to one that you are comfortable with. In the end it should be common sense that must prevail but then again, one can be totally seduced by the gift of the gab.

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Protection of the Rights and Interests of the Elderly

China has a law that protects the rights and interests of the elderly and very recently a 77 year old woman  went to court and won the country’s first neglect case.

The elderly population is often neglected by their off-spring and this law requires them to visit their elderly parents “ often” although “often” was not defined precisely.

In this particular case, the court required the woman’s daughter and son-in-law to visit her once every two months and on at least two of China’s national holidays. If they failed to visit they could be ordered to pay compensation.

I believe Singapore also has a similar law which requires the off-spring to look after their elderly parents financially. Even so, one can see many old people working in food courts as cleaners, pushing heavy trolleys as they clear used tableware and wipe the tables. Many others who have retired are now working as taxi drivers. Some of them said they prefer to depend on themselves while they are still able, rather than add to the burden of their children who have their own families to raise.

Mistreatment and neglect of the elderly is not peculiar to any one country.  Sad to say it exists everywhere.  Geography could be a factor as most young people migrate to big cities to look for work. Others could have migrated to other countries, leaving their old folks behind.

Time is another factor. Many young families have only time for themselves during the weekends, touted as family time to spend with their children since the weekdays are busy working days. They have no time to spare for their elderly parents.

Gone are the days when extended families lived together or close by so that bonds are nurtured and the elderly are highly respected and looked after.  Many old folks have been abandoned and left to fend for themselves and those who are more fortunate are shunted off to old folks’ homes and left there without any visitors, not even on festival days.

It is an indictment of society that old people who are sick and poor are usually abandoned.  Those who are financially well-off do not have to suffer the indignities of the poor. What has gone wrong? Why is there a need to legislate in order that the elderly are given a modicum of attention?

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Confession, a Double-edged Sword?

A confession is defined as an admission to incidents in the past, which one does not normally reveal to anyone.  Confessions are also made to priests who sit in the confessionals and listen, after which they would mete out penance proportionate to the “sin”.

Confessing to something which has been on your conscience can make you feel better but it will burden the one to whom you have confessed. There could be repercussions, especially if the confession is one of adultery or cheating on your partner. Remaining quiet in such circumstances will be “Ignorance is bliss” for the other party. However it could be heavier and heavier for you to bear as time goes by if you are the type that can neither forget nor delete the incident from your memory bank.

One way to relieve your burden is to confess it on paper, writing about everything that had taken place and then burning the confession immediately.

However, there is a trend now to confess online at sites that have been set up for this purpose.  There are websites where you can post anonymously and shed the weight of your misdeeds or unhappy  experiences.  These sites are aligned to educational institutions but not officially recognized as being part of them.  Postings are made by high school and college students of both genders and these postings are moderated by anonymous moderators . The contents posted are of different kinds, ranging from confessions of the love-lorn to relationship problems.

I don’t believe that these postings are made to attract attention as they are anonymous but they will have a cathartic effect for the confessors. Or could it just be a fad?

There are magazines dedicated to true confessions made by women of their trysts and escapades inside and outside the bedroom.  There must be a considerable readership or they wouldn’t survive.  I guess it’s a form of escapism. Or voyeurism if you get addicted to reading such stuff?

Nevertheless, be wary of face to face confessions for it may have serious consequences that could not have been anticipated. How many weddings have been called off because of an ill-advised confession or how many marriages have disintegrated as a result?

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Reflection

Some thoughts to share and perhaps act upon.

Reflection

You never know when someone

May catch a dream from you.

You never know when a little word

Or something you may do

May open up the windows

Of a mind that seeks the light –

The way you live may not matter at all,

But then again it might.

And just in case it might,

And just in case it could be

That another’s life, through you,

Might possibly change for the better

With a broader and brighter view,

It seems it might be worth a try

At pointing the way to the right –

Of course it may not matter at all,

But then again – it might.

 

Author unknown

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Overwhelm, Overload

Have you been pummelled and beaten down with your hands covering your head?  This is physical assault but I’m not referring to it.  What I’m talking about is mental assault, the kind where you get so overwhelmed that you feel like your head is bursting and you’re gasping for breath.br>

I’ve been assaulted by information overload and it’s literally killing me.

Everywhere I turn I see videos, books, advertisements, emails, so much so that in my sleep, I’m still clicking on the computer mindlessly, not knowing what I’m doing, just following what is on the screen.

My brain just can’t catch up and I’m fatigued by the immense amount of information that keeps coming through on the screen.  It’s frightening and I’m now immobilized, frozen mentally if not physically.

That’s why I haven’t been updating my blogs regularly. I need to clear my mind but that would mean being left behind.  This will be even worse for I will still have to “catch up” and there will be loads of information to sift through.


However, I cannot just give it all up as I’ve committed to it.  I need to learn and          understand the strategies of online marketing and driving traffic.  The going can get only tougher but I’m not a quitter!

Got to buckle down and get on with it. Sigh….

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Learning is Never Easy

Learning something is never easy. It gets harder and harder as one grows older.  Somehow the mind finds it more difficult to focus and it gets distracted easily.

I've been learning but at a very slow pace as it takes me a long while to grasp a technical issue. Praise the Lord that I've managed to set up a simple website where I hope to share what I've learned about online marketing.

So please visit fattiboomboom

You may wonder why it is called fattiboomboom.  Well, I'll let you into the secret. That was what I was called when I was in elementary school! I must have been a chubby little girl and you know how fat little girls get teased. Fatti-fatti boom boom was the first line of a chant. I leave you to guess at the rest...

So do visit fattiboomboom.

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Change

Change is the only constant.  This has been borne out through the years.

Life consists of cycles that are repeated in this existence. The young grow into adults, marry, have children and grow old. In turn their off spring do the same.  However there are variations in these cycles.

Changes have come into play.  The head of the family works to prosper and builds a large home which he hopes will house his children even when they have grown into adults. Alas, things do not work out that way as his children probably work away from home and his big house stands silent and empty.

Some people grow old and hope that their children will welcome them and have them stay as they live out their old age. Unfortunately attitudes have changed.
 
Many adult children do not welcome their parents as live-ins. Lifestyle changes have seen to this.  Privacy is the most common reason cited for this perceived lack of caring. They are welcome for short visits but not on a permanent basis.

This has happened to many old people especially among Asian societies which in the past used to live together under one roof.  They now find themselves being shunted from place to place without any permanent abode. The indignity of it all apart from the hurt.

Perhaps it is time for retirement villages where the elderly can make their home among other elderly people, where they can find companions with similar interests. I have visited a retirement village in a western country.

The elderly live in units that cater for their needs. Within the units there are railings which they can hold on to for support as they walk and the surroundings are wheelchair friendly. Some units have small kitchens where able residents can cook simple meals for themselves if they wish to do so.  Call buttons are strategically placed so that they can call for assistance if there is a need. The retirement village has a doctor, trained nurses and other staff that care for those in need of medical care and supervision.

 There is a recreation center, a dining hall and lovely gardens. The units are of varying sizes and designs catering to different categories of the elderly. This development is not a high rise and in fact all units are on ground level.

The elderly purchase or rent the units using their retirement funds.  This kind of retirement village is a notch above the state-run old folks’ homes as there is a better standard of care and more privacy. The community is small enough to develop a sense of belonging and cosy comfort.

This provides an alternative to depending on your children when you are old.  Instead of leaving money and property to your children, use the money for yourself so that you can live out your days in a measure of comfort and maintain your dignity and independence.  There is nothing more saddening than to know that you are not welcome in your children’s home to live out your days.

Then again, you will not have your independence if you stay with them and you may have to put up with their moods. Relationships could sour. At worst, you could be made a general factotum of sorts when you were thinking of a leisurely existence!

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Malaysian Spring

When I passed by a roundabout in the upmarket suburb of Bangsar in Kuala Lumpur, I was taken aback by the many flags, banners and colorful little pennant like flags that overwhelmed it.

It was a battle royale of flags and banners, with the big ones trying to block out the pretty little red, white and blue ones planted in the middle of the roundabout and the little yellow and orange ones standing gallantly around the edge of its circumference.

Little did I know the story behind this clash until I received an email detailing its background.

The residents of Bangsar had planted their little flags in the colors of Pakatan ( the opposition party )and Bersih ( the NGO advocating clean and transparent elections ) dubbed as spring flowers in support of their local MP Nurrul Izzah Anwar.

However by afternoon, the pretty “spring flowers” had been “plucked” by the local authorities and confiscated. The residents came running out and following a confrontation, managed to rescue their spring flowers which they replanted.

The video shows the concerted efforts of the people of all colors and races as they sorted out the flags and replanted them in the roundabout.

The people’s action resulted in the retributive horrendous deluge of banners and huge flags of the BN which were put up to “drown” the pretty spring flowers in this Lembah Pantai constituency.

The action of the local authorities to arbitrarily remove the opposition party’s tiny flags was viewed with distaste and anger by the residents and the immediate retaliation by the BN ( ruling party ) putting up the huge flags and banners to block out the replanted spring flowers reveals the lengths to which it will go in order to snuff out the efforts of the people who are hoping for change. All’s fair in love and war but unfortunately this wasn’t the case here.

Well, action speaks louder than words and come polling day the people will speak through the ballot.

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A Timely Reminder

How many of us in present day preoccupation with our work, our own lives, remember to spend some time meaningfully with our elderly parents?


Does this sound and look familiar?

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Cry Beloved Sabah

The last couple of weeks have been tense for the people living in Sabah, especially for those who live on the east coast.  A group of armed intruders from the Sulu Islands had infiltrated into a small village near the coastal town of Lahad Datu and staked their claim to Sabah , which they consider to be part of their kingdom, the Sulu Sultanate.

This aroused the ire of many Malaysians who felt that the government should not have negotiated with the terrorists with the rationale of avoiding bloodshed.  Negotiations came to nought with those digging in their heels.  The impasse ended when  waving the white flag, a group emerged.  However they didn’t come to seek truce. They shot and killed our men instead. The deaths of two elite police commandos and another six police officers in a dastardly ambush finally galvanized the authorities into action. Fighter jets zoomed in and the village in which the intruders had holed out was finally bombed.  Mopping up operations are ongoing, according to the top brass.

However according to the media in the Phillipines, the armed group is said to have moved away from the village to another place where they are safe and they did this before the planes came.

This is a frightening prospect.  It means that this could escalate into guerilla warfare where they can pick off their targets at will. The coastline of Sabah is very long and it is very easy for intruders from neighboring countries to slip into our state and mingle undetected among the local populace.  The illegal immigrants have overwhelmed the locals in some places.  We are helpless  and more’s the pity as Sabah used to be a beautiful, peaceful land free of such illegals who have brought nothing but misery, straining our resources,  committing crimes and acting as if our land is theirs, with their filthy habits of spitting and spreading Tuberculosis.

It is common knowledge among the locals that thousands of illegals have been given Malaysian Identity cards to enable them to vote.  A Royal Commission of Inquiry set up to investigate the tremendous influx of illegal immigrants is ongoing and the traitorous deeds of the turncoats and their political masters have come to light. It is this that has resulted in the problems that Sabahans, a loving and peaceful people, are facing today.  Is there any light at the end of this dark tunnel?

Cry beloved Sabah! 

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