The Good Wife Happy School

In Malaysia there is the Obedient Wives’ Club, with branches in Indonesia and Thailand. According to the Star newspaper, China now has the Good Wife Happy School and the Beijing Moral Education Center for Women.

These two are among the many that have sprouted to offer marriage guidance in view of the increasing divorce rates. The latest statistics from the Ministry of Civil Affairs reveal that 45 million couples divorced in 2010, an increase of 11% from 2009.

To help women to acquire the skills to manage a marriage, marriage management schools offer online and off line courses that teach women how to fix or prevent a broken marriage. According to a spokeswoman of the Good Wife Happy School, women will also learn how to get rid of a mistress!

The Moral Education Center in one of the districts in China offers a 30-hour course on how to snare a millionaire. It includes modules on conversational skills, personality development, make-up, and traditional tea-pouring techniques.

These marriage management schools have emerged to meet the need for relationship advice, especially among the women.

However, methinks here the onus has been placed mostly on the women to ensure that the marriage works whereas men too, play an important role in whether a marriage succeeds or fails. After all it takes two hands to clap.

Maybe someone should start a niche market by opening a school for aspiring husbands with tips on how not to begin on the wrong foot, the do’s and don’ts in a partnership which is meant to last for life. It's better to be prepared before inking on the dotted line than to be one of the statistics later down the matrimonial path.

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Mine and Mine Only

Just as cats and dogs assert territorial rights, so do human beings. The most visible is the fence around the house, demarcating one’s property from neighbours’. Gestures used in human behavior, both covert and overt signal possession.

One can observe these anywhere. A hand stroking the nape, an arm linked to another or around the waist of the person – these are overt signs of possession, signaling “hands off”. A man always holding his partner’s hand wherever they go shows a bespoke relationship.

The poses in photographs say many things too, whether deliberately posed or taken candidly.

Relationships that are intimate and have gone the distance are often identified by the comfortable and companionable silence surrounding them.

A small gesture, a certain look in the eyes…these are familiar communication that do not require words. Very often one partner knows what the other is going to say or what he/she is feeling. An almost imperceptible nod or a squeeze of the hand conveys a message known only to them. This exclusivity and bond set them apart from others.

There is no jealousy or discomfort in the company of others for they have a rock solid relationship and understanding. However, some women who may not like it when their partners are perceived to enjoy talking to other women will take umbrage and behave in subtle ways to assert ownership. One can often sense when another woman is not pleased.

Both men and women can be very possessive of their partners and show this trait in different ways. However it has been taken to the extreme in some cases where crimes of passion are committed, sometimes over misunderstandings or misperceptions. A case in point is Shakespeare’s Othello who murdered his wife Desdemona although she was innocent of his jealous suspicions.

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We Have Only One Life

We each have one life. In Greek myths, the three sisters Fate, Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos determine our destiny. Clotho is the spinner who spins the thread of life while Clotho apportions our lot in life and Atropos snips the thread to end our life.

So we are born into a family and continue to follow our destiny until it is time for our exit from this physical world.

No one knows when this time will be. I wonder about the pros and cons of knowing the exact moment of our demise. On the plus side, I guess when you know how much time you have on earth, you would plan accordingly and map out your journey, deciding how much you want to achieve before then. On the other hand, you might become a nervous wreck as the time approaches, wondering where and how you will make your exit.

If you do not know and this is the case with all of us, not knowing when we will become the late, we will continue to live life the way we do. Some of us have our life mapped out at least for the next twenty years; we know where we are going and how we are going to get there.

Others may just drift along like a piece of driftwood carried by the tides in the sea of life, accepting what life brings them.

All that said, it would be good to step back every now and then to evaluate what we have or have not accomplished in our journey, for life is a journey from birth to death. Taking stock will enable us to re align our path if we have veered off somewhere. Most important would be to take each day as if it were our last so that we can appreciate the here and now without taking things for granted. Appreciate our family and friends, show our love each day.

We never know what the day brings and some people never get to see the end of the day.

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The Ugly Homo Sapiens

Homo Sapiens is a species superior to all others with his ability to think and reason, his capacity for understanding and learning plus an intellect that distinguishes him from other mammals.

Yet there is an ugly side to man. Man is territorial, like other species. Crowd his space and watch what happens.

This is well illustrated along the highways. Have you ever witnessed the rage that takes over the rational mind when someone cuts into his right of way?There have been cases of aggravated assault leading to serious injuries.

The green-eyed monster that rears its head has instigated crimes of passion often ending in the death of one or even both parties.

What makes an apparently mild person turn into Mr Hyde? The seeds of violence are possibly inherent in man, bursting forth under provocation. Some of us tend to be more volatile than others.

Those who are less inclined to an outburst of temperament may be genetically primed to a calmer predisposition. On the other hand, some may have tremendous will power to keep their emotions at bay and thus practise restraint.

The bestial nature of man is never far from the surface and the media has of late reported cases of fathers raping their young daughters. Grandfathers have also been reported to unleash their lust on young relatives.

Abduction of young children especially girls who end up sexually abused and dead also make headlines. Mothers who abet their lustful partners in the sexual abuse of their daughters go against the order of nature.

Such people do not deserve to be regarded as human beings as they have no humanity in them when they can perpetrate such evil against their offspring.

Do other animals abuse their young?

Why is there such moral decadence? Is it because we have ignored spirituality? Are we overly focused on material pursuits? Where is the fear of God? Maybe it’s time to step back and evaluate the status quo.

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