A remark made by someone yesterday led me to ponder over his statement. He said that living and working in a big city had changed his son. His son had become impatient and grumpy. To his parents’ disappointment he had no intention of settling down and raising a family, citing that he had no time to do so.
Why is it that “settling down” is perceived in Asian society at least, as getting married and raising a family? Why can it not simply be perceived as holding a stable job, having a roof over one’s head and being able to fend for oneself without drowning in debt or hocking oneself to the limit?
Perhaps it is this perception that one ought to settle down and raise a family that is adding to the stress in one’s life.
Working in a big city can be stressful as there are lengthy commutes in usually heavy traffic that can take up quite a lot of time. I’ve heard of people leaving home before 6:00 in the morning just to be able to get to their work places on time. This works both ways. In the evening one faces the same situation and if it rains, traffic jams can be so bad that you spend an extra hour on the road before you get home.
Work place pressures and the need to get ahead in the rat race contribute more pressure. So is it any wonder that a person becomes impatient and grumpy? Especially when one is constantly being asked about when one is going to settle down?
I think it is harder on the man than on a woman although these days many women prefer to remain single, whether to pursue their career dreams or simply having the freedom to decide on what one wishes to do, whether to eat in or out, to travel or spend one’s leave at home, etc. There won’t be another person who may not like what you want to do or children to tie you down.
A married man would have the onus of getting a house for his family, saving for his children’s education and a lot of other commitments. It is a fact that in private schools, at the elementary level, a parent has to fork out about RM20 thousand per year per child. One naturally wants one’s child to have the best in education so one has to be prepared to pay. Oh, the stress of all these is enough to turn one’s hair grey and even change one’s personality.
Indeed stress can change a normally placid person into a raging beast as evidenced in “road rage”, child abuse where the harassed parent turns on his/her own child to vent his/her frustration.
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