Aging is what we all go through. The moment we leave the womb we begin to age...... one year, two years........until a ripe old age.
However not everyone makes it to a ripe old age as some would have fallen off the merry-go-round of life, whirled off in accidents, disease, murdered or committed suicide. Those who do either enjoy a golden period, basking in contented retirement amidst loving family members or living out the dreary days in isolation in an old folks' home or in the worst scenario, eking out a pathetic existence homeless and shunned.
Senior citizens are increasing in numbers by the day as we have in general a better health service, better food and food supplements and there is a greater trend towards taking good care of one's health. Many people, young and old, make good use of public parks to exercise, walking or jogging, participating in group exercises like qi gong and tai chi. The more affluent go to gyms for workouts or are country club members where they can swim, golf or play tennis or squash.
However the pace of life has quickened such that the demands of work have made it more difficult for families to care for their sickly elders. Those who can afford it, have a live-in maid who can see to the needs of their elderly parents if they are all staying together. Those who do not have a maid, are often hard pressed to find a solution. What do they do with a parent who needs care?
Some place their parents in old folks' homes and visit them regularly. Some just send them there and forget about them. Now have you ever wondered how it may turn out for you? Friends have said that we must cherish our children and bond with them because they will determine our future when we are old. They will decide whether to keep us with them or send us to an old folks' home.
Some of my friends say that they would not want to live with their children as they value their independence. One of them said that she would prefer to live by herself in an apartment so that she has her own space and be free to go in and out and do whatever she pleases. Were she to live with her child and her family, she would have to adhere by their routine, going out with them only when they go out, limited to her room and the constraints of living with the in-law and children. For all she knows, she could end up being the convenient nanny or family drudge should the maid leave.
Another said that she would not want to burden her children with her upkeep or have them worry about her when they are away at work so an old folks' home would be good as she would have other old folks for company.
The former situation where one lives in one's own apartment necessitates a steady source of income that enables one to do as one pleases while the option of an old folks' home also means that one's monthly expenses have to be borne somehow. Thus it is a must that all of us have a nestegg to sustain ourselves come the time when we are no longer working.
Whatever it will be, the lucky ones will live out a happy life among loving family members, cherished to the end, included in their activities. The unlucky ones will find themselves abandoned and forgotten, whether in their own apartments or in an old folks' home or worse still, destitute. I would like to share my poem with you.
Cobwebs in the Mirror
Silky strands criss-cross in lacey patterns,
Glistening in the light beam.
Dust dots bounce in and out,
Some get stuck on sticky silk,
Others float and tease.
A smile lights up the vacant eyes
As a pattern yields its secret;
Then tears well and slide down
Sunken cheeks, seep into lips once luscious.
The light goes out, the eyes blank again.
You sit oblivious of all around you,
Enmeshed in the cobwebs of your mind.
Tended by strangers, abandoned by kith and kin,
Days meld into nights, nights shrug into days,
Plonked into solitary vigil by the window
You had a life once, its vitality now mummified,
Except for sudden smiles savouring sweet secrets,
Washed by tears that still sear the soul;
You are a mystery, inspiring fear and sorrow
A mirror of what can be.
This could be anyone. I hope it won't be me.
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