Just now my cousin informed me through Facebook that our aunt passed on early this morning. She was ninety years old, a ripe old age. I remember her from about 10 years ago when I met her at my uncle's house during the Chinese New Year. She was a great cook and her dishes were a gourmet's delight. I remember her being rather adventurous too. She told me that I should go to Pulau Ketam and try out the food there.
I've never been there although I've heard about it since my childhood as there were relatives living there. Maybe I should try to make a trip there one of these days when I'm down in KL.
My brothers will be paying their respects to our late aunt later this evening. She resides in KL but I live in Kota Kinabalu so I won't be able to join them.
It is a custom that night visits are paid to the home of the deceased, where one's presence and a donation of "white gold" is duly registered. ( This white gold is to help the bereaved family to defray funeral expenses. ) If the deceased is a Buddhist, the visitor pays his respects by lighting 3 joss sticks before approaching the coffin.
Then he offers his condolences to the bereaved family after which he sits among the other guests and they talk about the deceased or other subjects. At this time there would be on display the wreaths and floral tributes sent by friends and relatives. From time to time there would be chanting of prayers by priests.
Usually 3 days would elapse between the time of death and the funeral. This is also a custom that is observed. Nowadays dying is big business too. There are companies that arrange and organise everything, from preparing the body for burial, setting up tents for guests and refreshments, to the burial plot and providing transportation for those who would accompany the deceased on her last journey. This takes the onus off the bereaved family so that they can grieve without having to worry about the nitty gritty. All this comes at a price of course. There are different packages to suit various budgets.
Those who attended the funeral would then be given a small white towel and a red packet containing a small sum of money, usually coins. This money has to be spent and not kept. It is customary to buy sweets using that money.
I remember my late grandmother's funeral which was a very costly affair. It cost us our home.
I was in primary school and I remembered she had a huge lump growing at her throat. A doctor came to attend to her and gave her an injection. Later that day, she died. She was bathed and dressed in seven layers of special garments before she was put into her coffin.
In those days, the coffin was a huge solid one made from a tree trunk and I used to be frightened out of my daylights whenever I saw one. My grandmother's coffin was placed outside the house and the mourners had to cry and shriek throughout the night. The priests, male and female, chanted prayers throughout the night walking round and round the coffin. We youngsters were told to make sure that no cats were closeby. It was believed that if a cat jumped over the deceased, the body would get up!! Believe me I was frightened out of my wits.
The funeral was a very elaborate one as my grandfather had high standing in the Chinese community. He was Capitan China. I remember there were stilt walkers, 2 brass bands, a long line of trishaws bearing long pieces of cloth with Chinese words stuck on them, plus lorries carrying more of the same. My parents and immediate siblings were dressed in sack cloth and black while we grandchildren were dressed in blue. All mourners were provided with mourning clothes, towels and shoes. Buses carried relatives and friends and my grandmother's funeral procession made its way through the streets in Klang town amid great fanfare before proceeding to the hill cemetery where she would be buried.
I remember that after the funeral, all the relatives were in the main hall of my grandfather's house and all the pieces of cloth were folded and piled up on the large long table. Every relative was given pieces of these cloths. When the final tally for the funeral expenses was added up, my father found that he had no choice but to sell our home in order to pay for what had been incurred for my grandmother's grand sending off.
Our home was shared by us, and my father's brother & wife, and grandma. When the double-storey shoplot along the main street was sold, we moved to stay with my maternal grandmother while my uncle moved to the countryside to stay in his smallholding where grandfather had grown rubber trees & coconut trees.
Grandfather had miles of rubber and coconut estates along the road to Morib, but then he also had five wives and many, many children for in those days, a man's standing in society was judged by the number of wives and children he had, not just the property he owned. The funeral had to be a grand affair as it was expected and there was "face" to be considered. So my grandmother had a funeral befitting a Capitan China's wife. "Face" there certainly was but we had to give up our home.
Fortunately, funerals aren't so elaborate these days. Being practical is more important. My late father was cremated according to his wishes and remains were scattered in the sea barring a small container of ashes which now repose in a niche in a temple where prayers are said for him come festival days. He was a practical man. Bless him and may he rest in peace. And my aunt too. I feel regretful that I won't be in KL this evening as we only get to meet long-lost relatives during funerals.
I've never been there although I've heard about it since my childhood as there were relatives living there. Maybe I should try to make a trip there one of these days when I'm down in KL.
My brothers will be paying their respects to our late aunt later this evening. She resides in KL but I live in Kota Kinabalu so I won't be able to join them.
It is a custom that night visits are paid to the home of the deceased, where one's presence and a donation of "white gold" is duly registered. ( This white gold is to help the bereaved family to defray funeral expenses. ) If the deceased is a Buddhist, the visitor pays his respects by lighting 3 joss sticks before approaching the coffin.
Then he offers his condolences to the bereaved family after which he sits among the other guests and they talk about the deceased or other subjects. At this time there would be on display the wreaths and floral tributes sent by friends and relatives. From time to time there would be chanting of prayers by priests.
Usually 3 days would elapse between the time of death and the funeral. This is also a custom that is observed. Nowadays dying is big business too. There are companies that arrange and organise everything, from preparing the body for burial, setting up tents for guests and refreshments, to the burial plot and providing transportation for those who would accompany the deceased on her last journey. This takes the onus off the bereaved family so that they can grieve without having to worry about the nitty gritty. All this comes at a price of course. There are different packages to suit various budgets.
Those who attended the funeral would then be given a small white towel and a red packet containing a small sum of money, usually coins. This money has to be spent and not kept. It is customary to buy sweets using that money.
I remember my late grandmother's funeral which was a very costly affair. It cost us our home.
I was in primary school and I remembered she had a huge lump growing at her throat. A doctor came to attend to her and gave her an injection. Later that day, she died. She was bathed and dressed in seven layers of special garments before she was put into her coffin.
In those days, the coffin was a huge solid one made from a tree trunk and I used to be frightened out of my daylights whenever I saw one. My grandmother's coffin was placed outside the house and the mourners had to cry and shriek throughout the night. The priests, male and female, chanted prayers throughout the night walking round and round the coffin. We youngsters were told to make sure that no cats were closeby. It was believed that if a cat jumped over the deceased, the body would get up!! Believe me I was frightened out of my wits.
The funeral was a very elaborate one as my grandfather had high standing in the Chinese community. He was Capitan China. I remember there were stilt walkers, 2 brass bands, a long line of trishaws bearing long pieces of cloth with Chinese words stuck on them, plus lorries carrying more of the same. My parents and immediate siblings were dressed in sack cloth and black while we grandchildren were dressed in blue. All mourners were provided with mourning clothes, towels and shoes. Buses carried relatives and friends and my grandmother's funeral procession made its way through the streets in Klang town amid great fanfare before proceeding to the hill cemetery where she would be buried.
I remember that after the funeral, all the relatives were in the main hall of my grandfather's house and all the pieces of cloth were folded and piled up on the large long table. Every relative was given pieces of these cloths. When the final tally for the funeral expenses was added up, my father found that he had no choice but to sell our home in order to pay for what had been incurred for my grandmother's grand sending off.
Our home was shared by us, and my father's brother & wife, and grandma. When the double-storey shoplot along the main street was sold, we moved to stay with my maternal grandmother while my uncle moved to the countryside to stay in his smallholding where grandfather had grown rubber trees & coconut trees.
Grandfather had miles of rubber and coconut estates along the road to Morib, but then he also had five wives and many, many children for in those days, a man's standing in society was judged by the number of wives and children he had, not just the property he owned. The funeral had to be a grand affair as it was expected and there was "face" to be considered. So my grandmother had a funeral befitting a Capitan China's wife. "Face" there certainly was but we had to give up our home.
Fortunately, funerals aren't so elaborate these days. Being practical is more important. My late father was cremated according to his wishes and remains were scattered in the sea barring a small container of ashes which now repose in a niche in a temple where prayers are said for him come festival days. He was a practical man. Bless him and may he rest in peace. And my aunt too. I feel regretful that I won't be in KL this evening as we only get to meet long-lost relatives during funerals.
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