Of First Love and Others

”It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.” Many people would subscribe to this.

The word “lost” may be taken in different ways. You can have loved a person and lost her to another beau or to death. You could have lost because of negligence or just a taking it for granted attitude.

The pangs of first love are never obliterated, even when you move on to new loves. I don’t know how many will agree on this.

First love is the sweetest for you cut your teeth on those emotions that rollercoaster through your days and nights. It hits you between the eyes in the flush of youth amidst fluctuating hormones.


Some people are lucky enough to marry their first loves while the not-so-lucky ones may chalk it up to experience, a phase they go through and then move on to other loves.

Even then this experience of first love is indelible, stored somewhere in the memory bank.


Sometimes, a song, a smile or even a certain flower or food may trigger that memory and bring back emotions long buried....sigh!

When you lose a person you have loved dearly, be it to a third party or to illness and death, the loss is traumatic. Coming to terms with it can take a long time. Some people never recover from it and their lives, more often than not, change for the worse. There will be those who retreat into their shells and others who lose their grip on reality and end up as alcoholics, drug abusers or suicides.

When a loved one is gone, you realize what you have lost. You may regret the things that you never got round to doing with that person, you may regret the unhappy episodes that took place between you.

Is it still possible to recapture that which was lost? Maybe, maybe not.

If death was the robber, then you have to move on and in time, rebuild your life.

If a third party was the gatecrasher, what can you do?

You would have to evaluate the situation. If you think that the embers of your first love can still be re-kindled, then strategise to win back your lost love.

Those of you who may need some ideas can check this out.

It is quite common that over a long period of time, romance fades from your relationship. This can happen to couples who have been married for a long time.
Attending to the responsibilities of bringing up the children and carving out a career and home building, it is often the case that couples do not have the time or energy to romance. The early sparks die out and a mundane routine existence sets in. Over time, the relationship becomes that of housemates and something is lost.

What can be done to revive this “staleness” in the relationship?

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